Thursday 13 Cat Haiku

I want to be close

To you. Can I fit my head

Inside your armpit?

~~~

We're almost equals.

I purr to show I love you.

Want to smell my butt?

~~~

So you call this thing

Your 'cat carrier.' I call

These my 'blades of death.'

~~~

Oh no! Big One

has been trapped by newspaper.

Cat to the rescue!

~~~

Tiny can, dumped in

Plastic bowl. Presentation,

One star; service: none.

~~~

Cats can't steal the breath

Of children. But if my tail's

Pulled again, I'll learn.

~~~

Wanna go outside.

Oh, no! Help! I got outside!

Let me back inside!

~~~

Toy mice, dancing yarn,

Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:

You're an idiot.

~~~

My brain: walnut sized.

Yours: largest among primates.

Yet, who leaves for work?

~~~

The food in my bowl

Is old, and more to the point

Contains no tuna.

~~~

Am I in your way?

You seem to have it backwards:

This pillow's taken.

~~~

Humans are so strange.

Mine lies still in the bed, then screams.

My claws aren't that sharp.

~~~

Litter box not there.

You must have moved it again.

I'll crap in the sink.

~~~

~ from Planet Cat