12 Step Program for Ferals

"My name is Callie, and I'm a formerly feral" ... and I would like to share with you below the 12 Step Program that transformed me from feral to formerly feral. But first, a pictorial review of my own recovery ...

Here I am in 1990 with my brother, Red, just rescued from a garage by our bean, who wore body armor and gloves because we were wallowing in the throes of feralhood ...

"Treats, you say? Okay, just let us out of this cage and we promise we won't tear off your other arm!" ... Here I am in 1992 while in my 12 Step Program. "Hey, fish, don't mess with a recoving feral!" ... Here I am in 1994, touching base with my Higher Power atop my mom's 8-foot-tall art show display ...
And here I am today, fully formerly feral ... well, except when temptation is just too great, like when Rocky looks at me ...

Now I share with you the 12 Steps that transformed me from a fanatic, fiendish feral into a fanatic, fiendish formerly feral:

THE TWELVE STEP PROGRAM FOR FERALS:
1) I admitted I was powerless over being feral — that my screeching, scratching life was unmanageable (so I could get out of that cage).
2) I believed that a Power greater than myself (and a steady stream of treats) could transform me to formerly feralhood.
3) I decided to turn my ferocious feralness over to a Higher Power.
4) I did a searching and fearless moral inventory of my feral self (over a pile of treats).
5) I admitted to a Higher Power, to myself, and to my beans, the nature of my feral misdeeds (so I could get more treats).
6) I allowed a Higher Power remove all my feral defects of catcharacter (anything for treats).
7) I humbly asked a Higher Power to remove my feral shortcomings (i.e. shredding skin).
8) I made a list of all beans, cats and other species I had put the bitey on, and became willing to purr on their wounds (because scritches from bloody hands are SO messy).
9) I made amends to such beans & critters (except when to do so made it too tempting for me to scratch their eyes out).
10) I continued to take personal inventory and whenever I fall off the whapping wagon I promptly admit it (so I can get some treats).
11) I sought to improve my contact with a Higher Power, purraying only for knowledge of how to stop biting & growling & scratching & screeching (and a few purrayers for more treats).
12) Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I try to carry this message to fellow ferals, and to practice these principles in all my cataffairs (as long as the treats keep coming and Rocky doesn't look at me).