I am a Turkish Van, I tell you!

Rocky: Recently my staff has failed to exhibit the proper respect for me. I have therefore conducted research to prove to them once and for all that I am a famous, legendary, historic, important and rare cat who must be revered at all times.

Rumor has it that I was rescued from a pile of leaves beside a lake. (Water ... that was my first clue. ) There have long been rumors that I came from the heavens. But then I found this photo of purebred Turkish Van kittens:

Just compare these kittens to moi ...

As you can see, there is no doubt that I am an authentic Turkish Van, NOT just some ordinary formerly feral mongrel found in a pile of leaves! Here are more of my renowned relatives:Turkish Vans have a striking appearance, with luxurious white fur and stunning auburn butterfly markings on their heads, with auburn ringed tails. I have all that, and more!

What's more, Turkish Vans are not just your ordinary cat: According to legend, Noah had a hard time keeping the passengers on the ark calm as they approached dry land near Mount Ararat in eastern Turkey near the Caspian Sea. Two cats, smarter and more wily than their fellow animals, leapt into the flood waters to swim ashore.

As the waters receded, these two brilliant cats made their way down the slopes of Mount Ararat to the ancient settlement of Van, on the shores of Lake Van. As they left the mountainside, the cats were blessed by God, and a patch of auburn hair appeared at the front of their bodies to mark the place he touched them. This "Fingerprint of God" is considered to be good luck.

Here is further proof: MY "Fingerprint of God" ...

If you're still in doubt, here's more: Turkish Vans are also known as "Swimming Cats" - they join their humans in the bath, play in their water bowls, fish in human toilets. I am OBSESSED with water! When my human takes a bath, I get in with her and lay on her stomach, and ask her to pour water on my head. When she washes dishes, I have to get in the sink to be rinsed. I stand in my water bowl almost every day and splash everywhere. And I even like to swim:

It is believed that Turkish Vans took up swimming to cool off during the very hot summers in Turkey, and to catch fish in Lake Van, especially herring. There you go: my human's last name is Herring!!

Turkish Vans are not vocal. They don't speak unless they have something important to say. I have a tiny voice that I use only in emergencies - my expressive eyes can handle the less important stuff.

Furthermore, Turkish Vans are known to carry things around in their mouths, moving them from place to place, and even play fetch like a dog. I am a master at playing fetch ... and I spent 3 days trying to find the proper place for this trimming from my human's shoe insole ...
Even though they have an ancient lineage, Turkish Vans didn't arrive in the U.S. until 1982, and by 2002 there were only 100 of them registered with the CFA. The experts say they ... I mean, WE ... are "a large, wonderful, active, intelligent, beautiful, strong, very powerful breed of cats. The Turkish Van is unique - in its history, its color and pattern, its personality, and its ability to survive, virtually unchanged for thousands of years. It shares an area known as the 'Cradle of Civilization' with mankind and is considered a regional treasure in its homeland ...

... It is a breed that is indeed worthy of our RESPECT."

'Nuff said. So show me some respect, you unworthy heathens!! I have been touched by heaven itself, so from this day forward you must honor my ancient Turkish ancestry and address me as:

The Revered Mr. CEO Rocky T.V. Herring!!

Staff: How 'bout we just call you "Turkey"?