Sunday Scandal: Rockygate

Hello, dear readers, it's Lucy! As Artsy Catsy's Spokesmodel, I have many contacts in the media, so I'm going to try my paw at investigative reporting and whistleblowing.

I have discovered a deep, dark secret about our CEO, Rocky. While hiding behind a plant with my spy camera and hidden microphone, I observed him opening our mail. As you can see, he pushed all other mail aside and only opened the thank you card from Lilly Lu, which contained pictures of Lilly, Mu Shue and Iris. You will note that he immediately put the picture of Lilly on top:

Then I caught him moving Lilly's picture over by his precious cigar ... and he started purring and caressing Lilly's cheek!

But here's the real scoop! Look what he did next:

Rocky, CEO (Cat Executive Officer) of Artsy Catsy has been caught on camera KISSING Lilly Lu in his executive office ... with a nip cigar nearby! Is this grounds for impoochment? Will he deny his illicit actions and say "I did NOT have kissing relations with that cat!"? And what will Jeter Harris have to say about this?

Lucy, Artsy Catsy investigative reporter, live on the scene with breaking news of the Rockygate scandal ...

Back in Action Weekend!!

Rocky here, announcing an end to all the hubbub around here so I can finally get back to business. My human artist is home now after seeing her daughter Tiffany off on her flight back to Italy. Let me give you an overview of our recent goings-on, then it's back to work -- time to get these human artists and my cat staff back into production!

But first, my human misses Tiffany and is very sad, so I've delegated to Lucy the task of wiping her tears and massaging her shoulders:

She was feeling a bit tense after getting busted by Airport Security for taking a photo of Tiffany passing through the security checkpoint. Tears were rolling down her face and when the flashy thing went off, 8 security officers descended on her, grabbed her camera and started yelling at her. She cried, "But that's my only child and she's leaving for Italy and all my photos are on there ..." and the lady security officer put her arms around my mom and cried too and gave her back her camera.

Tiffany's opera recital was a smashing success! This is she and her accompanist taking their bows after a standing ovation and an encore:

Her accompanist, Dr. Karol Sue Reddington, was Tiffany's childhood piano instructor, and she debuted at Carnegie Hall a few years ago. One audience member said Tiffany was superior to any soprano she'd heard perform with the Chicago Lyric or San Francisco Opera! And here are my human artists after the recital:

The same day my human artist arrived back home (where she belongs) we received a gift package from our friends, Lilly Lu, Mu Shue and Iris. I couldn't even wait for my human to get the band off my catnip cigar!

I love that cigar -- don't you think it befits an important CEO like me? I take it with me everywhere I go ...

... well, except when Fracas sneaked it out of my executive office, but he got written up for that!

I also had to discipline Callie when she tried to open the catnip champagne during office hours: Okay, everybody, vacation's over! Callie, get out of bed and take a memo: "ATTENTION ALL STAFF MEMBERS: All play and no work makes your CEO look like a jerk! There's no such thing as a free lunch! It's a dog eat dog world! A bird in the paw is worth two in the bush! And so on ... so get off your hindquarters and get back to work!"

Snoopervising Saturday

Okay, I'm starting to get into all the activity around here -- parties, receptions, people in & out that I can sit on, headbutt and bite. I especially like snoopervising putting everything away after grocery shopping!On Thursday, my mom left again to take Tiffany to Indianapolis to audition for the Indianapolis Opera. I'm told they were very impressed with her audition. Then they stayed there overnight to pick up Tiffany's piano accompanist, Dr. Karol Sue Reddington, at the Indianapolis airport when she flew in from Chicago. Karol Sue was Tiffany's childhood piano instructor, and she debuted in Carnegie Hall in 2002. Tiffany is so excited that Karol Sue will be accompanying her at her opera performance this Sunday! And I'm excited that she's staying with us, because she loves cats!

Tomorrow my mom's dad and stepmother are coming in from Louisville to also stay with us and go to Tiffany's concert. And they love cats, too, so I'll have even more laps to sit on!! Then we'll have a houseful of people after the concert. But early Monday morning my mom & Tiffany are taking Karol Sue back to Indianapolis for her flight back to Chicago and staying overnight for Tiffany to catch her flight back to Italy on Tuesday morning. I think I should be allowed to go with them on these airport trips -- I like air!! In fact, I think I should be allowed to go EVERYWHERE my mom goes. It would be easy if she'd just get me one of these:This would be ideal, don't you think? It would be just like velcro-ing me to my mom, which is my favorite position in the world!!

Rome, Italy Vacation Rental!

My daughter Tiffany's visit is ending much too soon! She returns to Italy Tuesday and we'll all miss her desperately ... even Rocky. (He complains to get attention -- he has enjoyed every single minute of all the activity!)

A special invitation: This Sunday evening Tiffany is giving an opera performance here in Terre Haute. All our nearby cat blogging friends are invited to come join us - we would love to meet you! Just email me for details (artsycatsy AT yahoo DOT com).

Now, exciting news: Tiffany will be away for performances this summer, so she's subletting her apartment outside Rome, Italy as a vacation rental this July and August. And she's offering a special discount to cat lovers who wouldn't mind keeping her kitties company while she's away! The apartment is available weekly or monthly.

Her beautiful two-story, air conditioned, 2-bedroom, 2-bath apartment sleeps 5 people and is located in the seaside community of Cerenova, just 30 minutes by train from St.Peter's/Vatican City and only one mile from the sea. The train station is a block away. The medieval village of Bracciano with its stunning lake and castle (where Tom Cruise was married) is just 20 minutes away by car. Here's the view from her balcony:

The apartment includes a full kitchen with all cookware, utensils and dinnerware; a balcony with a table & chairs; a baby grand piano, and a washer. Internet access, linens and weekly maid service are all provided at no extra charge.

LIVING ROOM:

DINING AREA (viewed from upstairs) STAIRWAY

KITCHEN

The weekly rental fee without the discount is 500 Euros (approx. $670) and the monthly rental fee is 1600 Euros (approx. $2160). Cat lovers should email Tiffany (sirenadellopera AT yahoo DOT com) so she can call you to discuss the special discount in person.

This is an excellent opportunity to have very nice accommodations near Rome this summer, when hotels and vacation rentals are difficult to find and extremely expensive, so feel free to pass the news along to anyone you know who plans to visit Italy! You can see more photos at PerfectPlaces.com.

Monday Message from CEO Rocky

With all the activity since my human's daughter Tiffany arrived here from Italy, this is the first chance I've had to get my paws on the 'puter. It's been non-stop fun, fun, fun and NO work, work, work whatsoever! Let me recap for you the activities that have cast my work schedule woefully to the wind.

On May 2, my human Sharolyn met Tiffany at the airport and spent six days with her in Indianapolis! You'll note in this representative photo that I am not there. I was left here, without my mom, with only her sister Suzanne to meet my every need, and as everyone knows, it takes more than one person to meet my needs. This is unacceptable.

Therefore, when they arrived back home, I promptly bit Tiffany and leapt into my mom's lap for head squiggles, where I've tried (unsuccessfully) to remain ever since. Since my mom is continually in motion -- planning parties, preparing for a recital Tiffany will be performing, even going to spend a day with some Tibetan monks of all things, her lap is rarely available to me. This, too, is unacceptable.

Then, no sooner did I begin to accept these intrusions into my life, look what Suzanne brought into my house! Hey, this is a serious business here, not a freaking rodeo!! I'm told Suzanne has been selected to paint this colt as part of a city-wide promotion for Swope Art Gallery, similar to the Cows on Parade promotion in Chicago. It's called Horsing Around In Terre Haute (appropriate for what's been going on at our house) and celebrates our city's pride as the host city of the Indianapolis Colts' training camp. Suzanne has been hired by Union Hospital to paint the colt wearing surgical scrubs and a stethoscope.

Of course, I must snoopervise this important project. How do I get this thing to take me on a test gallop around the yard? With a cloud of dust and a hearty hi-ho Silver, away ...

Giddyup, I said!! Humph, trying to get this worthness old nag to move is as difficult as trying to get my staff to work! Again, unacceptable.

Then when things calmed down from turning my home into a stable, Tiffany turned it into picnic grounds and invited scores of people over for a cookout. Here's Suzanne awaiting the invasion of humans that would freak the rest of my cat staff out so badly they hid in closets through the whole affair.

And here are the first of the human onslaught gathered around my backyard pond. Please note my absence during this 7-hour affair. Oh, right, my mom did take me outside once in my harness from Lilly Lu, but the noise these humans were making finally freaked me out and I when I started thrashing like a kite at the end of my harness, I was hustled back inside. Completely unacceptable!!

I tell you, I'm so exhausted from all this pointless activity that I think I'll spend the rest of Tiffany's visit in an extended corporate snooze!

Once-in-a-lifetime Event Coming Up!!

Rocky here. Hey, guess what will happen in just a few hours ... to be exact, at three minutes and four seconds after 2 a.m. tomorrow?

Well ... at three minutes and four seconds after 2 a.m. tomorrow, the date and time will be:

02:03:04 05/06/07

This will never, ever, ever happen again ever in your entire life, in the world, in the universe or beyond! (I know, I know, I have too much time on my hands with my human artist out of town.)

Stinky Saturday

As you can see, I'm quite displeased. My human artist Sharolyn has been out of town since Wednesday when she met her daughter Tiffany from Italy at the Indianapolis airport. This is unacceptable. Her whole purpose in life is to be at my beck and call, and she can't perform that vital function from 90 miles away! While she and Tiffany are visiting friends (and, horrors – other cats!) and attending operas, she has left me and my entire cat staff lapless, bed partnerless, playmateless and harnessless!

To make matters worse, she took my laptop with her and I can’t even IM with my friend Lilly Lu! I had to sneak upstairs to use Suzanne’s desktop computer to post this, and it’s a horrible inconvenience to adjust to a different pawboard.

To make matters even more worse, she’s hanging out with the likes of this. His name is Stinky, and he's so ginormous he makes even husky me look like a catmidget: Hummph!! So not only is my human artist having a Stinky Saturday, she went off and left me to have a stinky one, too. No question about it -- she's getting a written notice in her personnel file over this one!

Postcards from Endangered Pets - May 3

May 3 is National Hug Your Cat Day, a perfect day for ALL kitties and other pets to protest the lack of safeguards in the pet food industry and the lack of news coverage about this important issue. We urge all kitties and woofies and their humans to join the May 3 Postcards from Endangered Pets blitz!

Be sure to send postcards, not letters, since envelopes will probably not be opened due to security issues. And mail your postcards on May 3, so they'll all arrive at about the same time.

1) Write a polite postcard to your government officials about how the pet food recall has affected you and your humans, and how worried you are about pet food -- and human food, too! As Zippy, Sadie and Speedy suggested, your humans can also say something like, "We agonize about what to feed our cat/dog because of the lack of regulation in the pet food industry. The lives of our companions should not be put at risk for greed." If you've had vet expenses because of the recall, mention that as well. Send your postcards to these addresses:

Marcia K. Larkins, D.V.M.
FDA Center for Veterinary Medicine
Ombudsman
7519 Standish Place HFV-7
Rockville, MD 20855

Senator Richard Durbin
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Your state senators: you can find their addresses here

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

2) Write to the national media asking them why there has been so little news coverage about this major issue. You might mention that pet care is a $40 billion industry and there are more than 70 million homes with pets in the US -- that's a lot of interested viewers! Send your postcards "ATTN: News Director" to these addresses:

NBC News and MSNBC
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, N.Y. 10112

CBS News
Use their web site contact form

CNN
Use their web site contact form

FOX Broadcasting Co.
P.O. Box 900
Beverly Hills, CA 90213

ABC News
7 WEST 66th Street
New York, NY 10023

Newsweek Magazine
251 W. 57th St.
New York, NY 10019

Time Magazine
Email: Letters@Time.com

US News & World Report
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC 20007

And don't forget to SPREAD THE NEWS! If everyone announces this postcard blitz to every pet web site (Catster, Dogster etc.) and in every pet mailing group, message board etc. you can think of, we'll bombard the recipients with thousands of messages! Maybe then they'll take action so that we can feel safer in the future.