Showing posts with label Saratoga Restaurant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saratoga Restaurant. Show all posts

Friday, March 21, 2008

Rocky meets with Hillary Clinton

Rocky: As you may know, yesterday morning, the headlines here in Terre Haute read:


Yes, I called an urgent summit with presidential candidate Senator Hillary Clinton here in Artsy Catsy's hometown to discuss the fact that only one candidate is ready from day one to run this country and bring about true cheynge ... and that candidate is Cheysuli! Clinton agreed to meet with me at the Saratoga Restaurant, just down the street from Artsy Catsy's headquarters.

Unfortunately, someone leaked the news to the media, and the masses started descending upon the Saratoga at 2:30 a.m. I arrived at 5:45 a.m. to help the Secret Service keep the area secure ...
During the long wait for Clinton's arrival at 10:45 a.m., I opened Cheysuli's local campaign headquarters next door to the Saratoga ...With the premises secure, I allowed no more than 100 people inside the restaurant at 9 a.m. While the Secret Service strip-searched each one of them, my human artists Sharolyn and Suzanne and I discussed my strategy over coffee ...When Senator Clinton arrived, she ignored the crowd and came directly to me so we could get down to business ...
To her credit, she was most gracious, even gave me a few gratuitous chin scritches ... obviously a political ploy to soften my firm determination that Cheysuli must be our next President ...However, Suzanne and I pointed out to Senator Clinton that I was unwavering in my support for Chey. I cited a plethora of crises in this country that Clinton has ignored: Universal cat care; No Cat Left Behind; the financial crises of the cat middle class; the rising cost of cat food and nip; and the exhorbitant energy costs of keeping us warm. I pointed out to her that the cat middle class is the core of the American economy; it is the backbone of our nation and it can no longer be ignored. We work harder, we work longer hours, we don't take as many vacations. And yet our green papers are disgracefully dropping ...
"Hey wait! Don't walk away from me with that noncommittal smile on your face! I'm not finished yet ..."
Senator Clinton explained to me that she did not meet with cat leaders without preconditions, one of which was that I would not show up wearing my Chey for President tee-shirt ... so, being a master of diplomacy, I removed it before we moved outside to address the crowd.

Before her departure at 1:30 p.m. Senator Clinton and I gave our closing remarks to a crowd of thousands gathered outside the Saratoga Restaurant, with the Vigo County Courthouse in the background ...
All in all, my summit with Senator Clinton was a productive one, and I believe that even if after considering my irrefutable points she ultimately decides to stay in the race, she will at least turn her attention to these urgent cat matters ... Especially since I finally convinced her that I was NOT the State Department contract employee who breached her passport file last year.