Monday, December 3, 2007

Manic Mancat Monday

Rocky (hissyfitting): How did I end up in this crazy place? Well, it all started when after years of climbing toward that corner catoffice, I became the missing rung on the corporate ladder ... I struck out on my own and found a cat’s dream job, where I can set my own hours, earn as much as I like, and work for someone I truly admire.

I became a self-employed feline, the CEO of my own Artsy Catsy empire – yes, one of that elite group of cats who work twenty hours a day in order to avoid working eight hours a day for some othercat.

Oh, the joy I felt when I came to work for me! All a distant memory now. My dream job has become a nightmare for one reason only: I've become my own toxic boss!

Let me tell you how horrible it is for me to work for me. I'm completely unreasonable and can't get along with me no matter what I do. Nothing I do is good enough for me. I even expect me to work nights, weekends and holidays. The overtime I expect me to put in is insane!

Can't I understand that there's just too much for me to do? I expect me to do everything around here, and I don't even begin to pay me what I'm worth. And the way I treat me is absolutely infeline. Every time I don't get something right the first time, is it really necessary for me to hiss and growl and humiliate me in front of myself?

All the awards I receive from me, and the recognition banquets I hold in my honor, don't make up for the fact that I constantly stand over my shoulder as if I don't know how to do my job. Sometimes I'm tempted to scream, "If I didn't think I could be trusted to do this job, then why did I hire me in the first place?"

I reached my breaking point today when I gave myself my performance review and told myself I was spending too much time online at work. Hey, I don't feel like my personal life is any of my business, and I don't spend any more time online than my boss does! I can't take this "Me boss, me slave" attitude any longer.

So I’ve had it!! I'm outta here, and all I have to say to me is I can take this job and shove it because …. I can't fire me – I quit!!!

Staff: Uh, Rocky … you’re talking to yourself again. And missing out on Temptations time.

Rocky: Temptations? Well, this job does have some benefits … okay, back to work everybody!!

24 comments:

Dr Tweety of da Fab Five said...

It iz furry nice to meet such a literary cat. da momee tinks it will be good fur my poetry writin' to hang out wit you once in awhile. I haz been goofin' off & not bein' disca-pinned about writin.'

Tanks fur stoppin' by & purrin fur my Auntie Stinkie. She needz all da kitteez pullin' fur her. I yam keepin my toezez crossed dat she will get some of her sight back.

-Dr Tweety

Victor Tabbycat said...

Hey, Rocky, I fink you need to take sum personal time an practice feline meditation an yoga. Are you gettin enuf sleep?

An remember, when sumfing goes wrong an they ask whose fault it is, you can always say, "Not me!"

Dragonheart said...

Too funny, Rocky! ;) I think you need to be a little easier on yourself, okay? :)

Parker said...

It's hard to be in charge. It's hard to be a worker bee.
Sigh...what's a kitty to do???

JB's Big World said...

Thanks for adding me to your blog! I am new to this whole blog thing, so trying to learn.
Have a great day!
--JB

P.S. I could not take the ostrich home to mom because it was too big! :^)

Tybalt said...

Poor Rocky! I think we all have bad days at work. Just hang in there, and don't let you get to yourself so much . . .

Diamond Emerald-Eyes said...

Me thinks you need a nip break.

Aloysius said...

Hi, Rocky,

Just catching up with you. Or trying to catch up! You're way cool, so give yourself a pat on the back and take a long lunch.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Okay Rocky, time to take a "mental health" day...and have some nip, nip always makes things better.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

You sounded very overdue for a temptations break!

Pamela Heywood said...

LOL! You should get a Nobel Prize for Literature or be certified, or both, for writing that. It was brilliant. :)

Finnegan & Buddy said...

Rocky,

Get that evil boss to give you some time off and tell him we all sed so. Then go see yore massoose and have an ekstra-long seshun. Follow up wif some niptinis.

Yore frends Finny & Buddy

zevo calamari said...

Take a holiday! Enjoy!

Hot(M)BC said...

Gee. Yoo sound like our Mommy, Rocky!! heeeeeeeehehe
Oh well, treats helps most anyfing. And a nap can fix what treats don't help.
Purrrrrrrrs,
Sanjee

Eric and Flynn said...

Hey calm down Rocky. Stop and use a bit of primo nip, relax furr a while, then stand back and haf a good look at fings. Yoo'll find fings look much better then.(Speshully through a nip haze)

Kimo & Sabi said...

It's tough at da top. Good thing you gots a good benefits package!

Henry Helton said...

Rocky, you are hilarious!

Cat Naps in Italy said...

Maybe it is time for a vacation Rocky. Maybe Italy?

Love,
Opus and Roscoe

Daisy said...

Yep, I think you need a little vacation. And a LOT of Temptations!

JB's Big World said...

Temptations are my favorite! Mom buys packs of them by the dozens for me and my sisters!
--JB

MoMo said...

Rocky, may I suggest a kitty therapist? Zen? Relaxation therapy? You just gotta calm down and have lots of Temptations washed down with niptinis.

Jan said...

Hey, We stopped by from Sassy's to meet you. We like what we see, but after reading this, we are afraid you are loooooooooooong overdue for a vacation. You sound much like Jan when she wanders through here muttering about cat litter and other important duties of her job as staff. Hey, she hired herself. And we're easy to work for.

Jan's Funny Farm residents

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