Showing posts with label Hoarding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hoarding. Show all posts

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Rocky's Yard Sale

Humans! I swear!! What is it with them and their mindless consumerism, anyway? I mean, I'm ready to get back to work building my Artsy Catsy business, but these two human artists have accumulated so much STUFF in my corporate office that I was forced to have a yard sale this weekend so I could have room to work. A CEO must have his space, after all!

First I had to make zillions of signs and then prowl all over town to put them up. (I used orange paint so if I splashed myself it would look like just another of my handsome, if I do say so myself, ginger spots.)

Then I had to go through their jam-packed closets and drag out all the clothes they never wear, then haul them out to the yard. Every cent they spend on clothes is a cent they don't spend on Temptations, so out with the clothes!

Just look at this stuff they'd piled up! A kiddie pool? We don't even have a kid!

And what the heck is THIS, I ask you:

What, we don't have enough cats around here? Let me tell you, I stuck a bargain basement cheapo price on this worthless overstuffed fake feline!

I had to drag myself out of my human artist's warm bed at 6 a.m. and start hauling stuff outside, where there was frost on the ground and the temperature was 32 degrees! Then I worked my fuzzy butt off all day long for two whole days ...
adding up sales ...
And making change for an endless parade of shoppers ... And dodging boxes thrown around in the shoppers' frenzy of mindless consumerism ... The only enjoyable part of the day was meeting lots of new people and old friends ... like our good woofie friend, Sassy, and her mom Lois:
Well, that and taking a break or two when the sun finally came out and warmed things up: Then I had to spend my entire Sunday cleaning up the mess and prowling around all over town again to take down all my signs!

Now that this blasted yard sale is over, I've issued a corporate edict that all personnel are to get back to Artsy Catsy business immediately. I expect some productivity, you people and pussies! And no more hoarding useless crap and piling STUFF up in my offices! So get into your cubicles and start cranking out all the new products we've been discussing -- cat Christmas tree ornaments; Santa Cat gourd wreaths; cat-themed placemats and matching napkin rings; kitty grocery bag dispensers; cat charm sunglasses holders for human cars ...

Okay, time for me to go gnaw on our webmaster so maybe I can finally get our ArtsyCatsy.com website up and running ...