AACKHHK!! My human is tryin' to strangle me!! Yeah, she calls it chin squiggles to make up for squirting toxic waste down my throat (she calls it antibiotics) and squeezing rancid slime in my ears (she calls it medicinal ointment). But there's only one way she can make it up to me for this mistreatment:
Yeah, yeah, I know I have to do this so my ears will get better, but I don't have to LIKE it, do I? She says the inside of my ears look like blue cauliflower, and abusing me like this twice a day will keep them from getting worse. Other than doing a kangaroo impersonation and leaping all over the house after she dumps stuff in my orifices, and then boxing my cat staff in frustration, I'm trying to put up with it.
And I try to look on the bright side. I'm a tough guy like my namesake, Rocky Balboa, so I guess it's only fitting that I have cauliflower ears. But much more of this abuse and, Yo Adrian, this Italian Stallion is outta this house of torture and headin' to Italy to live with Tiffany, Fred & Holly!!
