YUM! I think I'd give up Temptations for a platter of that seafood stinky goodness!!
Here I go again, forced to take matters into my own paws, and drag out my tree trimming equipment and go rent a bucket truck! We had a thunderstorm yesterday, and it disproved the old axiom that "lightning never strikes twice in the same place."
That dark streak down the middle of the trunk is where lightning struck the first time. The lighter streaks on the sides and the stripped bark is where lightning struck yesterday. The streak goes from the top of the tree to the ground, and this tree is at least 5 stories high!
No doubt it would take out our neighbor's house, too, and probably half the neighborhood:
Well, the humans have been on the phone all day, calling tree services, calling arborists to see if the tree can be saved, calling insurance companies, calling, calling, calling. I say, JUST DO IT! More storms are coming even as I type, so I'm going out there to topple the thing myself -- before I end up with a tree trunk up my tuchas while I'm trying to nap!! I mean, a CAT can handle a CATalpa, right?
As you can see, they haven't had much success so far in taming this poor, horrified thing. I think they should let me go down there and have a talk with it. As a former feral myself, I think I'd have much better luck taming those kittens than somehuman who spends her time immersed in the laws of physics! She's probably reasoning with the poor babies by explaining kinetic and potential energy to them! I'm ready to give up on these Artsy Catsy humans as totally useless. In fact, I think I'll just practice some physics myself and spend the rest of Monkey Wrench Monday illustrating how "an object at rest tends to stay at rest" ...
Rocky: No, those are not freckles on my toes. Those are highly-evolved ginger spots, which are proven to be a sign of superb leadership ability.
Well, they're not really feral anymore. My human artist Sharolyn had the first one cuddling with her in less than an hour. The other two took a few more hours. Hey, those ferals are cutting into MY cuddling time! What's even worse, my human artist Suzanne spent a day on her friend's farm, cuddling with cows and horses and goats
:
Next thing you know, they'll be filling my basement with a bunch of farm animals!! So far, the only things Suzanne brought home from the farm were these ....
Lucy: You? Gracious? Humble? Teeheehee ... NOT!Rocky: How many times have I told you, it is against company policy to let the cat out of the bag ... so get back in it and hush!!
Now, it is my great privilege to invite five other high-powered manly mancats to join me as Rockin' Boy Bloggers, all of whom may place the blue ribbon on their blogs and also name their five selections for Rockin' boy Blogger:
Max the Psychokitty, because we have much in common and because he was my first inspiration for blogging;
Mu Shue, because he's my bud and he's Lilly Lu's brother and he's da King;
Boy, because he's a genius, too (Stifle it, Lucy!);
Cato, because he's a presidential candidate and a very intellectual & mystical dude;
The Morning Scratch Editor, Bogdan ... because he writes real news, Lucy, not scandal sheet drivel!
Lucy: Can I get out of the bag now?
Rocky: Yeah, well, Lucy, here's some news for you. The humans have brought two more of those feral kittens into MY house, and they've already tamed them and now they're out looking for the fourth kitten and its feral mother. Put your spy camera and reporter's notebook to good use and publicize them so we can find them a home other than MINE!
This is not even a formerly feral -- it's still feral through and through, ready and willing to bite the hand that feeds it. And even worse, there are more to come! This newcomer is part of a litter of ferals born to a feral mama on the grounds of Neoteric Hovercraft, where my human Suzanne has been trying to capture them for weeks. Now their mama has abandoned them, and they're hungry. Humph ... a bunch of wild hovercats who don't even know what a litterpan is for!
You know, most normal humans practice TNR: Trap, Neuter, Release. My humans are NOT normal! They practice only TNK: Trap, Neuter, KEEP! It's not as if I don't have my hands full training humans and a cat staff of fifteen ... now I have to train ferals, too? I mean, it could take forever before I can whip these wild things into good enough shape to perform a useful business function! Besides, I haven't budgeted for all the vet bills this will entail ... de-fleaing, de-worming, vaccinating, spaying and neutering. This has to STOP! I ask you, how is my payroll supposed to cover a hundred bazillion staff members?
Well, because of what happened next, I've issued a new edict at Artsy Catsy: "All important announcements shall be made in writing, since visual spelling is essential for clarity."
As you can see, their "Turtle Sundae" oral announcement created a grossly inaccurate image in our minds, because THIS is what we got:
