Thursday, May 8, 2008

13 Politically Correct Terms for Cat Behavior

Rocky: I'm sure all my fellow felines have experienced how politically incorrect our humans are when they speak to us. Therefore, I have compiled the following list of 13 proper, politically correct terms we can use to educate them when they insult us:

1) We do not "yak hairballs" ... we are Rug Redecorators.
2) We do not "scratch" ... we are Skin Regenerators.
3) We are not "shedding machines" ... we are Hair Relocation Stylists.
4) We are not "ruthless hunters" ... we are Wildlife Control Agents.
5) Do not call us "dope addicts" ... we are Catnip Connoisseurs.
6) We do not "break things" ... we are Gravity Implementors.
7) Do not call us "bed hogs" ... we are Mattress Assessors.
8) We are not "yowlers" ... we are Advisors.
9) Do not call us a "lap fungus" ... we are Sleep Study Experts.
10) We are not "evil" ... we are Badness Enhanced.
11) We are not "fat" ... we are Mass Enhanced.
12) We are not "lazy" ... we are Motivationally Challenged.
13) And we are never "underfoot" ... we are Treat GPS Systems.

18 comments:

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

Reading this is probably the best thing that will happen to the Woman all day. Thanks for the great laugh!

Chase

RHz said...

Brilliant.

Daisy said...

Ha! My favorite is "Hair Relocation Stylists."

DK & The Fluffies said...

Mwahahahahahahaha

Sassy Kat said...

We want to thank you for working so hard on your part in CCSI III. You have gone way above and beyond the call of duty making your part be the best is can be. Big weekend coming up with the premier showing of CCSI III. Great working with you.
Sassy, Momo, Karl, Ruis, Opus & Roscoe

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Yes I think this time of year, everyone is a very prolific Hair Relocation Stylist.

Camie's Kitties said...

Tiki is an expert skin regenrator, and Mom says she wouldn't know what to do without having hair relocation stylists around everyday. This is a great list.

Tiki, Tavi, Cody and Camie

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Hey, it's about time someone told my mom da correct terms! She also needs to stop calling us "nut jobs"...

Felix, Garfield & Jawsy said...

Aye to your list, Rocky!

One-Eyed Jack said...

3/ Also Fur Collage Artists!

I FINALLY did the book meme yesterday!

~Jack

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

What a great list!!!!

Lux said...

Excellent! I was just, for instance, assessing "my" mattress this very morning. :)

lisa said...

That's just hilarious! Good thing we have cats to teach us how to act right, eh? :)

Boy said...

Arh...we weawwy need to educate the world!

Monica said...

This was a very useful and educational post. Thanks.

MoMo said...

I like all of those - bet SS can use some too!

Victor Tabbycat said...

Those are great, Rocky, but no matter what, Bonnie is still Underfoot.

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