Friday, March 2, 2007

State of the CatUnion Address

My fellow citizens, I am distressed to report that intelligence gathered by the CIA (Cat Intelligence Agency) under the CatPatriot Act indicates that catshock and awe has befallen us; the dogs of war are barking in the Cat Blogosphere. The Department of Catland Security has elevated the catterror alert to red, and the conflict is so intense that three of our leading commanders, Zeus, Skeezix and Beau may resign.

We cannot allow this war to continue until it degenerates into another VietCat. We must first employ diplomatic efforts to impose no-catgrump zones throughout the Cat Blogosphere. The catterrorists -- and those who aid, train and harbor them -- must unconditionally destroy all WMD's (Words of Mass Destruction) and agree to not develop WMD's in the future.

If diplomatic efforts fail, a coalition of the willing will deploy troops to kick some serious catbutt at a time of my unilateral choosing. The United Cats of the Blogosphere has the sovereign authority to use force in assuring its own serenity. That duty falls to me, your self-appointed Cat-in-Chief.

And make no mistake -- if the use of force is unavoidable, we will not withdraw until the mission is accomplished. I have accumulated a massive stockpile of lethal hairballs and I possess an arsenal of catballistic missiles capable of delivering them. Don't make me drop dirty catbombs on you!

I ask for your support in this mission. We must work together to bring peace and serenity to the Cat Blogosphere, with liberty and catjustice for all. We must post our gratitude and appreciation to each of our esteemed cat commanders Zeus, Skeezix, and Beau and urge them to stay the course! And we must put the "fun" back in dysfunctional and learn to all just cat along.

Together we will swat the flies out of our catsoup for the soul and create a purrrfectly unified and peaceful Blogosphere of the cats, by the cats, and for the cats. And we will accept no outcome but victory!

Thank you, and may God bless the Blogosphere.

41 comments:

Cheysuli said...

"we must put the "fun" back in dysfunctional"

Now that's a classic... Nice post-

Daisy said...

Yes, I am FOR no-catgrump zones!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

I agrees with you Rocky! WMDs are dangerous and must be eliminated at all costs. Even if it means *shudder* lethal hairballs. Please, please don't explain what a "cat bomb" is.
Stay the course everyone and stay blogging!

Furry Logic said...

All in favor say "Aye!".

Aye!

Bonnie Underfoot said...

All right! I'm not alone in wanting to thwap some cats back to their senses. They're acting like ::shudder:: beans!

You're welcome for my share of the hairballs. I do my best. But Rocky, I'm keepin an eye on you. This is a democatsy, not a dogtatorship.

ML (Mary Lynn) said...

KC said....
Aye! purrrrssss!

Missy said....
Aye! or else you get the Biggie Hissie!!!!!

Bear said....
Aye!

Victor Tabbycat said...

Does "...no outcome but Victory" mean ME? I was wif you up to that point. Bonnie an Ayla might haf trubble formin no-catgrump zones; they's the grumpiest cats I know!

Fanks, Rocky, fur puttin yur paw down to smack this crisis.

Eric and Flynn said...

We hope all this is just a storm in a catbowl and efurryfing gets back to normal. If yoo need help wiv hairballs, I'll send Eric ofurr, he's furry good at mass producing them.
Flynn

Emma's Kat said...

Aye!

- Emma and crew

Great post!

Junior said...

I stand ready to defend any cat that need defending!

Artsy Catsy said...

Thanks, Flynn, but as soon as the Cat Blogosphere disarms, we're signing a Hairball Non-Proliferation Treaty in an effort to halt production before somebody pushes the hairball button and wipes out a small country!

Rocky

Tara said...

I'm all for a WMD detente!
Tara

The Meowers from Missouri said...

you got an "AMEN"! from our corner!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Aye! Aye! Aye!
And we must put the "fun" back in dysfunctional and learn to all just cat along.
hehehehe dats funny

sammawow-china cat-willow said...

You are so clever! We love the "fun" in disfunctional! And we so don't want the 3 leading commanders to resign!

China Cat & Willow

momsbusy said...

we supports you, rocky.

yuki & kimko

Hot(M)BC said...

We thought a WMD was a William of Mass Destruction. THAT kind of WMD I'm for. The word kind we're not for, nope. Can we have that nappile and snooze now?
Purrrrrrs,
Boni

Pee Ess. Mom laughed so hard about putting the "fun" back in dysfunctional that diet coke came out her nose. That was funny to watch!

Smeagol & Strider (Mystery & Gizmo too!) said...

Aye from all of us!

Gemini said...

Wait if we have no WMD's then what about William of Mass Destruction (WMD)? We have to allow him.

Kimo & Sabi said...

Blogging cats unite!

Artsy Catsy said...

Ah, yes, I do see the vague similarity between "WMD" and "WMD". (Astute, aren't I?) My apologies for the confusion. William is our good buddy and has top security clearance, so he's allowed old place he wants to go!!

Rocky

jeterharris said...

in da wordz uv mi brudder kimo ...
... wut did he say?
laffin an laffin!
fun iz good!
jh

Kim said...

I'm a human, my cat Oscar gave me purrmission to speak for him, and myself, AYE! You kitties rock! Oscar says "down with the infidels!" (He watches a lot of Fox News).

Kim said...

Aye! From Oscar and myself, his bean, Kim.

Kim said...

Aye! From Oscar and his bean, that would be me, Kim.

Dragonheart said...

That's a great State of the Cat Union Address! You are a very clever and very wise cat. I agree that WMDs must be destroyed at all costs and no new ones should be created.

I hope Zeus, Skeezix and Beau continue to blog. They are all wonderful cats and I hope they know how much the Cat Blogosphere needs and appreciates them.

Jazper said...

As Skeezix would say, "My bean got all leaky-eyed" when reading this.
Thank you for this post, Rocky.

I stand, ready to hiss, claw, and hurl hairballs in the name of Cat Blogging Freedom!
(this means: e-furry-one KEEP BLOGGING!)

Victor Tabbycat said...

Oh no, let's not start votin wars here with the Ayes! Hey, we gots HUGS for alla you Artsy Catsy cats. MuShue started a hug tag game.
((((((>^..^<))))))
HUGS
Victor & Bonnie

Creatures said...

Dysfunctionally funny yours, love Cato

Please write another speech, your fan, Elizabeth

Aloysius said...

Rocky, you rock! "And we must put the "fun" back in dysfunctional.."

Just the thought I was looking for.

said...

I have always been a great promoter of keeping the fun in dysfunctional

:o)


<3

The Meezer Gang said...

Agreed. We need to keep perspective that our blogging--contests and all--are all in good fun! Fantastic address!!!

Mu shue Pooh King Cat said...

Hi all 10 of you Esaply rocky I wanted to pop by and give you all Hugs (((( all 10 artycatys))))

go see my blog for deital go hug four other cats

Lux said...

I'm passing out hugs here:

{{{{hugs}}}}

Mattingly said...

Oh we are loving your blog all you ArtsyCatsy cats! You've already shown how generous you can be, and it's no surprise since you must have such generous humans to take in so many cats! We are sending you lots of hugs and purrs and thanking you for all the smiles you've given us! I know we don't comment too much, but Harlie and I are reading even when we don't say so!

Derby said...

Rocky you have done very well putting forth the issues that we need to address on the cat blogoshpere. Plus it is fun being slightly dysfunctional.

P.S. Mum says the check is in the mail.

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

we love "put the "fun" back in dysfunctional" - it reminds us of home. we have 3 teenagers and a crazy Lady. hugs for efurrybuddy!

Victor Tabbycat said...

Rocky, Callie sounds lots like Bonnie. She hisses an runs when I pounce her, too. An sumtimes her growls sound like a t-storm rollin thru the howse! We'd nefur hurt each other (she's front declawed) but she cries foul alla time. :-)
More hugs an purrs!

Karen Jo said...

I agree wholeheartedly about abandoning all hurtful words. We are all here to enjoy ourselves and each other and have fun and help each other. Big {{{{{HUGS}}}}} for everyone!

Faz the Cat said...

Absolutely agree. FAZ

Anonymous said...

酒店經紀PRETTY GIRL 台北酒店經紀人 ,酒店經紀 酒店兼差PRETTY GIRL酒店公關 酒店小姐 彩色爆米花酒店兼職,酒店工作 彩色爆米花禮服店, 酒店上班,酒店工作 PRETTY GIRL酒店喝酒酒店上班 彩色爆米花台北酒店酒店小姐 PRETTY GIRL酒店上班酒店打工PRETTY GIRL酒店打工酒店經紀 彩色爆米花