Monday, March 30, 2009

Mancat Monday

Fracas: Just because our CEO Rocky is a blog hog, you'd think I do nothing around here. I beg to differ! As Vice President of Artsy Catsy, I'm the one who does all the work. I snoopervise all office renovations ...
I stand on guard to thwart squirrel and stray cat corporate spies ...
I snoopervise our slacker CEO's way-too-frequent work breaks ...
And I even have to serve as his alarmeow or he'd never wake up!
So don't kid yourself. Our CEO is just another do-nothing corporate fatcat lying around waiting for a big bonus or golden parachute. I, yes, I do all the work around here!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sunday Penance

Rocky: Just because I've spent the week biting my human's arm off and jumping on my catministrative assistant Callie to make her screeeeech, my human is making me do Sunday penance. She's interrupting my shoestring tying session to make me listen to the Twelve Cat Commandments from Planet Cat ... 1) Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is at the computer.

2) Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or computer monitor, as thou art not transparent.

3) Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

4) Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

5) Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

6) Fast as thou art, thou canst not run through closed doors.

7) Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

8) Thou shalt not unroll all the toilet paper off the roll.

9) Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.

10) Thou shalt realize that thy house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

11) Thou shalt not trip thy human even if said human walkest too slow.

12) Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.


Friday, March 27, 2009

Frenzied Friday

Rocky: My human artist staff is preparing to participate in a Metaphysical Art Fair and The Celebration of the Arts and Soul, and my vice-president Fracas and I are in a frenzy snoopervising their activities. Just look at how hard we're working ... Why, you ask, are Artsy Catsy products appropriate for metaphysical art fairs? Well, first, the fairs are helping to raise money for local animal shelters. And second, we cats are very spiritual, metaphysical beings. Don't just take my word for it ...

When you come upon your cat, deep in meditation, staring thoughtfully at something you can’t see, just remember that your cat is, in fact, running the universe. ~Bonni Elizabeth

If you stared deep into a cat’s eyes, you would be able to see into the world of spirits. ~British Proverb

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. ~Jules Verne

I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling … “Cat, I would lend you this book to study, but it appears you have already read it.” She looks up at gives me her full gaze. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she purrs, “I wrote it.” ~Dilys Laing

Of all animals, the cat alone attains the contemplative life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha. ~Andrew Lang

So, that clarified ... Ommmm....

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Portrait of Mu Shue

Rocky: I thought I'd share with you my human artist Suzanne's latest cat portrait, of Mu Shue Pooh King Cat, who went to the Rainbow Bridge last year. His Mama Laura commissioned the portrait so every day she can see Mu Shue watching over her from greener pastures ... You can see some of Suzanne's other portraits here, but this one is very special to us, since Mu Shue was the recipient of Artsy Catsy's very first fundraiser and a very good friend.

Also, I want to thank you all for your concern for my mom after I almost bit her hand off yesterday. Her wrist is much better this morning, no redness or swelling, thank goodness, and it is healing nicely. And I think relations have been restored between she and I ... although I was banished from her bed last night - she said she didn't want to be awakened by the Rocky bite alarm this morning!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I bit my human artist!

Rocky: Uh oh. I'm in the doghouse bigtime, doing serious penance ... This morning I bit my human artist, sank my teeth all the way to the bone ... I know, I know, a CEO shouldn't assault his employees, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I was just trying to get her out of bed - we have work to do! I didn't mean to hurt her.

I have a biting problem. My human artist says this is because I was only one day old when I was rescued, and since I was bottle-fed and had no siblings, I didn't learn from a mamacat not to bite hard, and didn't learn proper social behavior from siblings.

My staff says I have to join Bite-aholics Anonymous and enroll in anger management and stress reduction classes to calm down my CatType A personality. In the meantime, my human artist is telling me her daughter Tiffany had a cat bite just like this when she was young and she ended up in the hospital for two weeks and almost lost her hand. Oh my, I don't want that to happen! I really, really, really am sorry.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

EconomiCat Crisis!

Rocky: As Artsy Catsy's CEO (Cat Executive Officer), I am outraged! We’re in a global economic crisis, and I want my share of the stimulus money! I deserve it. I’m not a toxic asset (despite my human artist’s comments when she cleans the litter pan) and I don’t do credit default swaps (well, maybe I give my cat staff a good swap in the face now and then).

I have a housing crisis – my house is overrun with cat staff and crazy human artists. I have a totally unbalanced balance sheet.

Wall Street fat cats and the top cats at AIG, Merrill Lynch etc. have pocketed billions in bonuses; where is MY bonus? Where is MY bailout money? Where is MY stimulus check? Just look at me – it’s glaringly apparent that I need to be stimulated …
Oh, wait. I forgot. Just like AIG, I have to totally bankrupt Artsy Catsy before I get a squillion dollar bonus. Okay, down the tubes, staff, so we can buy a couple of jets, take luxurious cat spa vacations and throw ritzy affairs for the neighborhood strays!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I'm Tweeting!

Rocky: I'm taking a break because I've been busy teaching my staff to tweet on Twitter. You can follow our tweets at

I'm meeting lots of new friends for us all there. Even one named Mr. Scrubby, who has a blog: Go see if you don't think he kinda looks like me!

And here's another new Twitter friend who looks like me:

Okay, back to work ... Tweet tweet!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Friday Five

Rocky: In spite of appearances (or lack of them!) we really are still here ... no thanks to our crazy human artists, whose lives are wearing me out ...

Here are the top five reasons we haven't been around much lately ...

1) Our good friend Terry had an emergency appendectomy so my mom left town to go stay with her while she recovers. And our dear friend Lois, who is undergoing cancer treatment, fell and broke her rib.

2) My mom has tax problems, so she's been spending all her time shuffling through stacks of papers and muttering things that I wouldn't dare repeat here.

3) A hit-and-run driver crashed into our human artist Jenni's car and knocked the whole rear end off it so we've been dealing with the police, the insurance company and the body shop and all kinds of human-running-back-and-forth.

4) All three of our human artists are frantically getting ready to show our work at Celebration of the Arts and Soul to benefit the Clay County Humane Society. If any of you live near Brazil, Indiana, come see us there April 17-19!

5) And here is the saddest thing: our cousin Keith has been diagnosed with cancer. We're spending lots of time purring and purraying for him, and we hope you'll join us. He's getting massive chemotherapy and if it doesn't put him into remission, his doctor says he'll only have 6-9 months to live. My mom used to babysit Keith when he was a child, and we're so sad and upset that this has happened to him.

Now I'm going to visit all of you in big old hopes that your lives have been going more smoothly than ours! Then I'm going back to bed to purr and purray for a totally uneventful, even boring, life at Artsy Catsy the rest of the year - no more illnesses, accidents, tax problems or anything else upsetting!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Wordless Lucy

Lucy: We're having a quiet day to remember and honor our human artists' mother, Emma Jean, who passed away 8 years ago today. She was my first mom and I miss her more than words can say. She loved to cook, and I stayed in the kitchen by her side all the time, as I still do because I know she's here with me.

She loved kitties, and we all loved her, especially Rocky, who stayed by her side and on her lap all through her breast cancer treatment ...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The V.E.T.

Rocky: All right, already, since I pride myself on being a CEO who listens to others, I took your (unanimous) advice and went to the v.e.t. yesterday. Here's the good and bad news:

I got wrapped in a towel and put in a Jeep where my mom squished the daylights out of me while I fought and trembled and moaned all the way to the stabby place, where I got probed and poked and something stuck up my behind which was then stabbed with a needle and I was sent home with pink yucky stuff that my human artist has to sit on me to get down my unwilling throat twice a day. I hope you're all happy now!

Dr. Shew said I have a fever and an upper respiratory infection, which is airborne and highly contagious, so I'm still quarantined.

The only good news is every time the pink yucky is squirted down my throat, I get Temptations ... So how about some purrs & prayers that this yucky stuff will start tasting like tuna juice? Blechh!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

NO V.E.T.!

Rocky: I need your help! Please tell my human artist that I do NOT need to go to the v.e.t.!! Yes, I'm sneezing and blowing bubbles out my nose and my eyes are watering, but hey, I can do that if I want to! I'm the CEO! Besides, there are excellent benefits to this behavior - she has separated me from my annoying staff and I get to have my human all to myself! With these kinds of perks, I'll be sneezing a lo-o-o-o-ng time!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Carnival of the Cats #259

Rocky: It's March 1, and what a perfect day for Carnival of the Cats - the first day of the month that brings us the end of winter and the beginning of Spring! It reminds me of an old song, The Circle Game ...
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time

As we leave winter behind and look forward to the warmth and renewal of Spring, here's what's been going round and round in the cat blogosphere this week ....

Yes, all eyes are watching for Spring, but it's a rare stare that could compete with the powerful eyes of Hakuna at Blog d'Elisson!

Oh, but if your eyes are itchy, better learn how to Use Organic Methods to Help Heal your Pet's Allergies at Organic Family Circle.

Please send your purrs & purrayers to Mind of Mog, who this Friday had to help their their sweet Klarissa to the Rainbow Bridge ...

And Freya’s family could use your support in remembrance of their sadly missed Scampie, who went to the Bridge a year ago this week ...

Don’t miss the video, Jerusalem’s Coolest Kitties at Elms in the Yard, a tribute to all the cats who make their home on the grounds of St. Stephen's Priory (The Ecole Biblique) in Jerusalem.

Look at these innocent bystanders doing absolutely nothing wrong at Elms in the Yard.

Don’t miss the fresh air, sunshine, wet paws and a perfectly “happy ending" :-) at Perfectly Parker!

Beautiful Sanjee stakes her claim to some peace and quiet at House of the (Mostly) Black Cats.

Tristan gets down to a serious therapy session with a Really BAD Dog at Tabbylicious.

Maggie is dealing with a dilemma at Mélange … Where did all the birdies go?

But check out at Mr. Jones at AllanThinks – there’s not a single dilemma in his world!

Speaking of dilemmas, the economic downturn is on all our minds ... but at Catymology, Aloysius explains why cats can right the falling economy.

Get ready to give out some welcomes to new friends ... There’s a new “cousin” – sort of – at Momma Grace and Company.

And there's a new woofie brother, Maverick, at Life from a Cat’s Perspective.

Easy Like Sunday Afternoon brings out some handsome mancatness at iMeowza.

And at iInfidel, there's some spring cleaning going on.

The cat’s out of the bag! It’s Victor’s 4th purrthday today! (And someone else in his house has a birthday Wednesday) ...

Speaking of growing older, Loup-Garou at House of Chaos has some geezer mojo goin’ on.

Awww! Desi and Pushy display their overwhelming cuteness in days gone by at KeesKennis.

Maddie and Ivy share their cures for cold and dreary days at StrangeRanger. Never fear, warmth is on its say and Spring will soon be sprung!

And here at Artsy Catsy, we offer up a bit of Kitty Bipartanship with a heart-warming video, The Animal Odd Couple.


Don't miss next Sunday's Carnival of the Cats,

to be hosted at Mind of Mog!