Saturday, January 27, 2007

From Atlas, Corporate Bookend

Since we work behind the scenes, some of us at ArtsyCatsy have been pretty low-profile. We might not be in your face giving orders like Rocky, or soundbiting like Fracas, or catastrophizing like Callie, but our jobs are still important.

We three littermates were rescued from an abandoned house at 3 weeks old, and started movin' on up until we became the backbone of this company. Take me - Atlas - for instance, and my brother Somber. As Official Corporate Bookends/Paperweights, we play a crucial role in keeping this company organized. Even though Somber can't decide whether his fur is black or white, and even though I almost died in 1997 from feline urologic syndrome, we still, so to speak, carry our own weight here - and it's ample.

And then there's our sister, LittleGirl. As a baby, she suffered an eye trauma before we were rescued, leaving her with only one good one. But it's good that ArtsyCatsy hires the handicapped, because as Quality Control Manager, LittleGirl does an excellent job keeping an eye on everything.
Okay, gotta go hold up some books and hold down some paper.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Please report animal cruelty

Cat blogging is usually lighthearted and uplifting. But occasionally an issue - although unpleasant - demands our attention and action. We ask you to go to Laurence Simon's Catcall and watch the extremely disturbing YouTube video someone forwarded to him of a cat being bathed in a contraption called a Pet Spa. As he warns, this is not for the faint of heart. Then read the comments posted by your fellow cat lovers. All agree: this is cat abuse.

The manufacturer states on their website, "This award winning patented technology is the safest and most effective pet cleaning system in the world. The unique design was created by a team of Veterinaries, Animal Behaviorists and Engineers for the well being of the Pet." We propose that not a single cat lover exists who would agree with this statement! We believe the Pet Spa constitutes nothing less than cruelty to animals. Yet it is being sold to, and used by, pet groomers across the United States. Would you put your beloved kitty in your dishwasher? And the company advocates using it not for just cats and dogs, but for small animals as well. As someone else commented, can you imagine what this would do to a bunny?

We at ArtsyCatsy are protesting what we believe is animal abuse, and we hope all pet lovers will do the same. First, we emailed a letter of protest to the manufacturer and to all pet groomers using the Pet Spa. The manufacturer's contact information is:
Pet Spa USA

4743 NW 72nd Ave, Miami, FL 33166
Phone: 800-973-8772
Fax: 305-594-8755

Next, we reported the company to the ASPCA, PETA and the Animal Rights Foundation of Florida. Their email addresses are:

As Mahatma Ghandi wisely observed, The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. Perhaps this measurement should also be applied to businesses.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tails & Toes Tuesday

The CEO (Cat Executive Officer) says:
"Callie, take a memo: All employees will get back to business, stop this Tuesday tails & toes & trivial nonsense and focus on the bottom line. Fracas, keep promoting your Cat Portrait Sale. Sharolyn, get your cat greeting cards printed. And Callie, make me an appointment with the V.E.T. ... there seems to be a tiny tail growing out of my head."

The Catankerous Catministrative Assistant says:
"Rocky, get off my tail and take your own #!*&#! memo. My toes are bigger than my head. My toes have claws. My toes will pull that tiny tail right out of your head."

Oscar the Maintenance Manx says:

Quit complainin', Rocky. At least you got a tail growin' out of somethin'! No matter how much I beat my head against this table leg, mine won't grow!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

What's your Cat Age?

from Callie, Catministrative Assistant

It's cold, and I'm old, creaky, cranky and catankerous tonight, and these fourteen other felines are getting on my last catnerve. But my person is giving me a cattitude adjustment. Chin squiggles first, then neck & noggin noogies, and first thing you know, I pull my claws out of everybody and feel all kittenish again!

We know exactly how old I am, because we all took the CatAge test. The bad news is, I'm 77 in people years. But the good news is, that's 2.3 years younger than the average CatAge for my breed (whatever that is.) I would've been younger, but they took points off for bad behavior. Jerks.

The test figures your biological age in people years by assessing more than 40 health factors, from weight & nutrition to exercise, safety and behavior (hated that part.) They even give you tips for living a younger, healthier, happier, longer catlife. Go ahead; see if you're as far into your nine lives as I am and take the CatAge test now -- it's free!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Professional Pet Portraits

from Fracas, VP

ArtsyCatsy, a catporation whose mission is to provide the known universe with artistic creations for cat lovers, provides professional pet portraits for cat and dog lovers.

According to Vice President Fracas, “Our catstaff’s continuous supply of food, treats, and catnip mice is being threatened by our humans’ “all work, no PAY” status as we strive to set up our e-commerce website. To preserve our inalienable catrights, we must not, cannot, wait until the launch of to market our cat art.”

“Cat portraits make a loving gift for the cat lovers in your life – or for yourself,” Fracas reminds, "and a portrait is a wonderful pet memorial of your animal companions who have gone over the Rainbow Bridge."

"All portraits are lovingly rendered in luminous pastels from your own photographs by renowned pet portrait artist, Suzanne Overton. Each portrait is meticulously sealed for posterity, then matted and shipped to you ready to frame."

16x20 Pet Portrait:
1 pet or person - $225
Order a second portrait for only $190
Order a third portrait or more for only $180 each!
(Each additional pet/person in the same portrait - $75)

Shipping: All U.S. orders - $15. International orders will be emailed exact shipping/handling fees.

*20% of every order will be donated to cat rescue organizations or to individual kitties in need!*

To place your order:

1) Email ArtsyCatsy(at)Yahoo(dot)com and let us know the number of portraits and the number of figures per portrait you wish to order. We will then email an order form for you to complete and snailmail to ArtsyCatsy with your photographs and a 50% deposit on your total order (check or money order.)

2) We will notify you via email when your portrait is completed (turnaround time 2-4 weeks.) Upon receipt of your remaining balance, your portrait(s) will be shipped to you, along with your original photographs.

But wait! There’s more!

In addition, ArtsyCatsy is also offering the following gallery of framed, ready to hang original animal portraits from our display stock at the special price of $199 each (Reg. $300 - $450). First come, first served, so email ArtsyCatsy(at)Yahoo(dot)com posthaste to mark your territory!

Framed size: 13 1/2 x 21 1/4 inches

Framed size: 20 1/4 x 24
1/4 inches
Framed size: 19 1/2 x 23 inches

Framed size: 20 1/4 x 24 1/4 inches

Framed size: 18 1/2 x 22 1/2 inches

In conclusion, VP Fracas yammers and meyowls, “A home without pet portraits is like a body without a soul, a life without love, a face without eyes, a flower without water, a day without sunshine, a year without summer, a sky without stars, a bird without wings, a CAT without NIP ............”

Saturday, January 13, 2007

From the Human Cat Artists

Our esteemed CEO Rocky has finally given me permission to post on our blog and introduce the human side of our business ... although he chewed off a good portion of my wrist while I was convincing him to get off the keyboard.

Despite Rocky’s sarcatsic comments, we humans are a vital part of this venture, and are being quite productive. Already today we’ve shopped for supplies, met with our accountant, and met with our webmasters to finalize the design and functionality of our upcoming e-commerce site, (Ivan, our IT Director, and the ever-present Rocky were helpfully in attendance -- Rocky shuffling papers and Ivan diligently drooling on our keyboards.)

We humans are also attending to the never-ending details involved in setting up a business … from incorporating, to arranging secure online ordering, to purchasing supplies. We're also rearranging our 15-room household to expand our workshops and studios … and through it all, creating one-of-a-kind unique artistic works for cat lovers. So, you see, our slates are quite full with setting up a business while functioning as indentured servants to a houseful of hissyfitters!

I invite you read our bios below, and should you ever wish to bypass the rantings of Felis domesticus to communicate directly with Homo sapiens, please email us any time at ArtsyCatsy (at) yahoo(dot)com.


Sharolyn – Artist / Writer / Cat Food Chef
(and servant to Rocky, Fracas, Callie and Lucy)
Cat lover Sharolyn
(above, right) comes to ArtsyCatsy from a lifelong career in creative writing, illustration, gourd art, advertising, marketing and public relations. She has served as marketing director/consultant to national and international firms such as Sam’s Club and Signature Inns. Her ArtsyCatsy products include gourd art, greeting cards, jewelry, bookmarks, illustrations, candles, pillows, household décor and wall art.

Suzanne – Artist / Catnip Distributor
(and slave to Ivan, Oscar, Bitsy, Little Girl and Blackie Bear)
Cat lover Suzanne
(above left) comes to ArtsyCatsy from a lifelong career in graphic design, fine art and advertising. She has contributed her skills to a wide variety of local and national media and corporations. Her ArtsyCatsy products include pet portraits, notecards, cat beds, kitty litter screens, limited edition art prints, punched tin creations and household décor.

Jason – Artist / Litter Pan Maintenance Engineer
(and valet for Somber, Atlas, Casey and Sibley)
Cat lover Jason Hobbs
(above center) is the son of Suzanne Overton, and is an emerging artist of exceptional talent. His ArtsyCatsy products include original abstract cat art, limited edition prints, and abstract cat art emblazoned on a variety of cat-themed gifts, from cups to tee-shirts.

Tiffany Herring – Operatic Soprano / Cat Cultural Adviser

(and maid for FredBaby and Holly Golightly)
Cat lover Tiffany Herring, daughter of Sharolyn Herring, comes to ArtsyCatsy from a lifelong career in music. From her beginnings as an honors piano/voice student at prestigious institutions such as Interlochen Arts Academy and Oberlin Conservatory, she has advanced to her current position performing opera and teaching voice and piano in Rome, Italy. Tiffany, Fred and Holly comprise the European Division of ArtsyCatsy, and provide artistic and cultural oversight for the company. Her future contributions will include recorded CDs of music for cats.

P.S. Tiffany's birthday is today, January 15. She is celebrating it in Rome with Fred and Holly, her good friend Cesare, a fine vino rosso, molta pasta, and a leisurely stroll along the Tiber. Buon compleanno, la mia figlia bella!

Healthy Homemade Cat Food Recipe from ArtsyCatsy Spokesmodel Lucy

Kiss-kiss, my dahlings, it’s Lucy, the official ArtsyCatsy spokesmodel, and I must say I am SUUCH a Ragdoll, aren’t I? Am I not simply the jewel of the cat universe! It’s SOO peskypesky, but I’ve been distracted from foofing my fur and striking poses to do a little giggie with you about devoting yourselves to your inner divahood.

You see, being fabulous isn’t only about sass, attitude, walking with a supermodel strut as if you’re wearing furry little “come-foof-me-pumps”, never spitting when hissing, and always smoking with a cigarette holder. No, my cutesykits, to BE fabulous, we must FEEL fabulous.

And to feel fabulous, we diva dolls must indulge ourselves both INSIDE and out. We must not only cultivate inner poise and prettyness, we must EAT properly. A kitty without proper nutrition is like a plant in poorly soil … and we must never, never wilt, wrinkle or, heaven forbid, lose our girlygirly figures! It's all about healthy, my honeys!

As my good friends at point out in their open letter to veterinarians, Have you ever seen a barn cat barbecue and dehydrate its mouse dinner and top it off with a dessert of corn gluten meal soufflé? Or heard of a cat that went hunting for rice grains or oatmeal for breakfast? I think NOT! And many popular cat food brands are made from meat industry WASTE products: condemned/contaminated protein from slaughterhouses, road kill, and even euthanized companion animals … EEEEWWWW!! Barfybarf!!

If it’s unfit for humans, we finicky felines must turn our prissy little tails on it. I have insisted that our humans feed us only the best cat food by serving us healthy homemade cat food here at ArtsyCatsy, adapted from a diva-friendly recipe I found in the Veterinarians Guide to Natural Remedies for Cats I share it now with you, then I simply must return to my tiara and boa.

Ta-ta and bon apetit, Dearies!

Homemade Cat Food Recipe
* 2 whole (preferably organic) chickens (boiled, de-skinned, de-boned and chopped – reserve broth)
* 2 containers organic vegetable baby food (without onion powder, toxic to cats)
* 3 jars chicken baby food
* 6-8 teaspoons canola oil
* 6-8 teaspoons flax oil
* 6-8 teaspoons fish oil
* 5-7 rounded tablespoons human-grade bone meal (We use Solgar Bone Meal Powder with Vitamin B-12 from the health food store)
* One 6 ½ ounce can minced clams with juice (for taurine – a MUST)
* 1-2 or more cups reserved broth (to make it Lucy-juicy!)

Mix all ingredients well, and freeze in ½ to 1 cup portions in snack or sandwich bags. Thaw bags in hot water or in microwave before serving. We adult divakitties will eat ½ to 1 cup per day.

Important: Once a week, add 1/2 cup organic organ meat (kidney or liver) and once or twice a week add one or two hardboiled organic or high-omega eggs.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Edict from the Corporate FatCat

Listen up all employees! In getting up and running, 2007 is our year of important Specialized High-Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). As Boss in General of this Specialized High-Intensity Training (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.) , the following new office policies will go into effect immediately:
1) The fireplace is off limits during office hours! I spend 24/7 working on all kinds of S.H.I.T. and what happens? Some human slacker stokes up a fire and I lose an entire day of productivity from getting my head caught in the firewood tongs, leaving soot stains all over my white shirt. Eyes glazed with stress, I'm then forced to interrupt my busy schedule to break the tongs, chew the fireplace broom to ribbons and have a shampoo. All fireplace perks are hereby rescinded.

2) Now, people, what is our company name? ARTsyCatsy. What is our mission? ART. You human artists were brought on board for two reasons: a) to serve the catstaff's every need; and b) to produce ART! Therefore, no more personal phone calls, no surfing the Web, no extended lunches, and all vacations are cancelled until further notice. All humans are to get back to their drawing boards at once. What's that? ... oh, our human artist Suzanne would like to point out that she has produced three more portraits ... let's see them, Suzanne ...
Thank you, Suzanne, I'll be sure to note this at your next performance review. But I would advise all our human artists to recognize that it is a supreme privilege to work for we cats, and nothing you do will ever likely be enough.
Now, people, hustle, hustle, get back to work!

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

From Ivan, official CyberSiamese

I'm Ivan, Information Technology Director at ArtsyCatsy. Our CEO, Rocky, has been in a hissyfit since he was left to clean up the cat clutter after the office New Year’s Eve party. (Oscar, our Housekeeping/MaintenanceManx, got crocked on catnip and is still recovering.) So the CEO has delegated to me the task of premiering another of our human artists.

However, communicating in actual words is difficult for me, since I'm fluent only in KittyGeekSpeak. My lengthy tongue wraps itself most proficiently around acronyms ... I meow in MIME, hiss in HTML, purr in PNG, growl in GIF and hack up hairballs in HACMP. But this particular ArtsyCatsy artist, Suzanne, is my own personal human, so I’ll give it my best then I have to get back to eating the bugs in our system.

Suzanne is not only a TCPA (Talented Cat Portrait Artist), she also has the distinction of being an HPM (Highly Publicized Muralist.) Since it speaks for itself, I’ve uploaded some of her work: And here is a portrait by Suzanne of ArtsyCatsy's own Director of Corporate Espionage, Bitsy, with her significant othercat, Ugly: Suzanne also illustrates cat greeting cards and creates cat-themed gifts such as cat beds made from giant gourds, punched tin household décor items … even toilet tissue holders featuring, of course, cats. You’ll see it all soon at the grand opening of ... so G2G (Got to Go) now and clear my cat cache.