Wednesday, January 30, 2008

13 Songs I Sing

Fracas: As you all know, I'm the Artsy Catsy VP, in charge of sales, marketing, public relations, morale building ... anything that involves the voice, because I have an attention-getting, hair-raising, never-ending, non-stop voice. In my spare time I've been studying the effect of music in the workplace, and I'd like to share a few snippets from
13 Songs I Sing to keep things running smoothly around here:

1) When my mom is feeling low, I serenade her with the 1987 hit by Little Benny and the Masters, "A Day for the Cat in the Hat" ...
You're sad, Oh dear, Well luckily for you the cat is here ...

2) As a loyal VP, when anyone challenges CEO Rocky's authority, I halt them with my rendition of the 1963 single "Tom Cat" by the Rooftop Singers ...
He's a boss around this town
He don't allow no other Tom Cats come pussy footin' around ...

3) When we're ready to check out the action around the cat blogosphere, I treat the staff to the old Tom Jones favorite ...
What's new pussycat, whoa oh woah oh woah oh ...

4) When the staff starts feeling inferior to all the beautiful meezers in the blogosphere, I lead them in a little role-playing from "Lady and the Tramp" ...
We are Siameeiz if you pleeiz
We are Siameeiz if you don't please ...

5) When its freezing outside and we fall victim to SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), I cheer us all up with a few verses of Garrison Keillor's "Alaska Cats" ...
Alaska cats don't take no crap
They don't sit on no ones lap ...

6) When Rocky starts stalking me, I put a halt to that with my best tenor version of that 1950 classic ...
I tawt I taw a puddy tat a creeping up on me
I did I taw a puddy tat as plain as he could be ...

7) Whenever my mom starts packing that suitcase thing, the staff asks me to lay some guilt on her via the Japanese rock band Brilliant Green's "Brownie the Cat" ...
If you leave me I’ll be blue
Let me stay here by your side ...

8) When we mancats start lamenting our long-gone man parts, I get us feeling all macho again with The Muppets' hit "The Cat Came Back" ...
Stray cat strut I'm a ladies' cat
I'm a feline Casanova hey man that's that ...

9) When lady Lucy hides her face after a visit to the litter pan, I console her with Phoebe Buffay's tender and melodic lyrics ...
Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat it's not your fault!

10) When Rocky gets disturbed by all the locked doors, I feed his fantasies with Norma Tanega's "Walking My Cat Named Dog" ...
I'm walking all around the town
I'm seeing all the people down
Walking around Talking around ...

11) When we get frustrated by all those fevvers outside teasing us, I calm everyone down with "The Cat in the Window" by Petula Clark ...
If I could fly
You wouldn’t find me hangin’ around
Watching the birds go by ...

12) When we hear all the strays outside, I let 'em know I got friends in low places with a little "Alley Katz" by Hall & Oates ...
Alley kats, alley katz, come out and play
Yowlin' and howlin' a social ballet
Out in the alley it's strictly low brow ...

13) And when my mom gets severely rattled by TV political coverage, I remind her that Chey will soon be in charge, and I reassure her with Jamie Anderson's When Cats Take Over the World" ...
The world's in bad shape, indeed
There's too much anger and greed
But I can see through the gloom
Cheynge is coming soon
When folks will be very nice
And tuna will plummet in price
When cats take over the world
Everyone will be very kind
You could jump on the counter
And eat whatever you find
You could cough up a hairball
And no one would mind
Maybe we'd all purr
When cats take over the world ...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Cheerleader Lucy

Lucy: I am SO excited! Look what MoMo made for me!
Yes, I am not only Official Spokesmodel for Artsy Catsy but, along with MoMo, I am an official Patriots cheerleader with the NFL (National Feline League)! I've been modeling my cheerleader uniform MoMo sent to me ... don't you think we look just perfect together?

And thank you so much, Zoolatry, for this wonderful portrait of MoMo and I getting ready for the big day!

Go Patriots!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Slacker Sunday

Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, but not for us! Here are some of the many things we're busy doing today:

We're delaying starting a diet ...
We're procrastinating on paying the bills ...
We're avoiding working on the room where we stripped off the 80-year-old wallpaper ... and part of the wall ...
We're putting off filing papers ...We're lingering over -- I mean under -- a cup of coffee ...
All this work is exhausting! Yawnnn ... nap time!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Scarface Saturday

Rocky: I'm tough. I'm da Rock. Real mancats don't cry, and all that. But .... ow ow ow ow Mommyyyy, Callie scratched me!! Look at this terrible owie right down the middle of my nose!
I'm wounded! I'm disfigured forever! And just when I was getting ready for my Love Café photo shoot! What ladycat would ever want a scarface like me? Oh oh oh, I need emergency chin scritches!
Fracas, it hurtssssss! Help me Fracas, I think my nose is swelling bigger than my head and I know I have a fever and a terrible headache and my tummy is upset and my knees are weak and I'm dizzy and I'm faintinggggg....Fracas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, cut the hisstrionics, you big baby. And no, I will NOT give you CPR so don't pull that coma act on me! Oh, all right, maybe just a little cuddle ...

Friday, January 25, 2008

Guardian CatAngels

Rocky: Our house is SO full of kitties. Besides my current Artsy Catsy staff, the spirits of all the kitties who came before are watching over my mom, and over us kitties, too. You know how sometimes we kitties stare at, or get startled by, invisible things? Well, those things are Guardian CatAngels, and they're not invisible to us!

Two of our very special Guardian CatAngels are Millard and Gizmo ...Millard, our meezer, had to be helped to the Rainbow Bridge in 1999 when her kidneys failed, after living with my mom for almost 23 years. Gizmo developed cancer after Millard passed and my mom helped her join Millard exactly two months later, at age 19.

Millard was one of a pair of identical sibling meezer girls who adopted my mom at a pet store when they were six weeks old. My beansister was a little girl at the time, and the silly thing named the two meezer sisters Millard and Fillmore! Sadly, Fillmore went to the Bridge when she was just a young girl.

Millard was a unique and brilliant kitty -- she loved to ride in the car and would take long trips with my mom to visit my beansister in college, where she would serve as the temporary dorm mascot. But my mom had to keep an eye on her because she would sneak into the neighbor's car and go to work with her! Millard would take walks with my mom and trot along beside her like a woofie. And she even taught herself to use the human litterbox!

Gizmo was a formerly feral my mom rescued. She was always just a little bit feral and didn't like other kitties much, but she adored Millard and they were inseparable. My mom says she knew that when Millard went to the Bridge, Gizmo would be lonely and would find a way to join her.

Even though I'm jealous of other kitties getting my mom's attention, I don't mind at all that she has lots of room in her heart and in our home for our Guardian CatAngels Millard and Gizmo.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Thursday Three

My good buddy Jimmy Joe has tagged me for a new meme. I don't think it has a name yet, so I'm just going to call it the Three Dreams Meme.

The rules are: a) Post who tagged you and link back to them and then to b) Then answer this question: What three things would you do that you have never done before, if you knew you wouldn't get caught, get in trouble or suffer any consequences? c) Then tag 3 other kitties, beans, woofies, or any other assorted animal.

My Three Dreams:

1) I would go outside whenever I want, all by myself, and freely wander our entire neighborhood for as long as I want ... play in the park, hang out in the bar across the street, fly around the treetops with some crows ... and invite all the homeless kitties and woofies out there to come back to my house and work for me!

2) I would grow velcro instead of hair and permanently attach myself to my mom for whatever she does and wherever she goes.

3) I would pack all of us up so we could go live in Rome, Italy with my beansister Tiffany. Italy looks much more interesting than Indiana, and kitties are treated like royalty there. And my mom and I would sit in first class on the flight over!

Now, I'd like to tag these three kitties, hoping they haven't already been tagged:

Cheysuli - The future of our catcountry could be in her hands so her dreams are of utmost importance!

Jake - Chancy & Ernie's new little brother, because kitten dreams are so much fun!

Simon - The prince at St. Louis Meezers, because royal dreams are so interesting!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Wacky Wednesday

Fracas: I'm sometimes known as FrackyWacky around here - not a very dignified nickname for a Vice-President, wouldn't you agree? So, to prove a point, I've been searching the Internet to find some cats who are WAY wackier than me. Check out these wackos - they'll put a wacky grin on your face, too!

Punk Rock Cats - Watch the all-cat band Litterbox perform their latest hits.

Kitlers - These wacky cats look like Adolf Hitler! (If your cat keeps raising his paw and shouting "Sieg Miaow" and plans to invade Poland, you might want to submit his/her picture to this site!)

Hobblit - This wacky cat fetches like a dog. (Rocky does this, too. I've always said he's WAY wackier than I am!)

Cat Conversation - And you thought I talk all the time!

Hamster Cats - At least I know my own species!

Fevver Kitty - I repeat ... at least I know my own species!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Tailor-Made Tuesday

Decisions, decisions. Now that the M-Cats Club is officially open, I've gathered my finest nip cigars and searched my closet for an appropriate power suit in which to make my first appearance. I want to be absolutely certain I'm dressed in only the most respectable modern mancat meow wear, expecially since beloved Caesar is our role model.

Therefore, I appointed my human artist as my personal valet, fashion consultant and tailor. My first requirement was "No off-the-shelf stuff for the CEO - it must be tailor-made!" So I ordered her to dust off her sewing machine, then dash out to buy patterns for designer meow wear.

The following are my selections from Simplicity's MeowWear line. May I ask you to help me decide which design is most suitable for meeting with my buddies after work at the M-Cat Club to knock back a few niptinis and plan our good deeds?
In the meantime, I've tasked my human artist to practice sewing a straight line, and I'm taking a few power naps to plan my first big night out. See ya there, guycats!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Mancat Monday - for Caesar

In memory of our dear mancat friend
Caesar will be with us always in spirit, and we dedicate this poem to his family in hopes that it might bring them some comfort ....
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Gizzy Like Sunday Morning!!

Oh wow, look!! Our good friends Lilly Lu, Iris and Mu Shue had Millie's mom make us our very own Gizzy Quilt! It's pink and green and beautiful and has fishies on it!
Our mom put it right on her bed so I could take it for a test drive:
First, I have to get my executive nip cigar positioned properly:

Callie and Lucy are doing Easy Like Sunday morning in the other rooms, so for now I have our new Gizzy all to myself!

Ahhhh ... Gizzy like Sunday Morning ..... zzzzzzzzz ...

Thank you SO much Lilly, Mu Shue, Iris and Millie & mom!

We LOVE it!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Spotty Saturday

Callie raises a hind paw for spot cleaning .... While spotty Rocky snoopervises ...

Friday, January 18, 2008

There's a very ill Mom Bean who needs everykitty's help. Gretchen's Mom Bean Dorothy suffered severe heart arrhythmia, was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and is has been put in cardiac intensive care. Dorothy’s daughter, Gretchen’s Aunt Paula, has posted about Dorothy both on her (Paula’s) blog and on Dorothy’s blog.

We hope every kitty in the blogosphere will join together and send healing purrs and purrayers to Dorothy, Gretchen and all their family. We all know the power of the purr ... it can work miracles.

Thinking Thriday

I am honored to accept the Thinking Blogger Award from my good friends Nermal, Nico, Virgil & Maggie and from Karl & Ruis.

And since I've been recognized as a thinker, I think I'm going to think some thoughts for you. But first, I think I'm going to think of some thinkers who've earned the Thinking Blogger Award. And I think I'll think of a new step to add to this award since I think it has been around a few times, I think.

I think these are the rules:
1. Write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. In it, link to the thinker(s) who gave you the award.
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.
4. Go tell your humans you think you need some treats!
5. And, I think we need to add this step: Once you've completed steps 1-4, think five thoughts that will verify you're a thinking blogger!

We think these five bloggers make us think:

Gandalf & Grayson because just looking into the depth of their beautiful eyes makes us think
Kimo & Sabi because they think so much of their new sisterbean Kiera
The Whispers & Purrs Gang because we think they really know how to make us smile
Samantha & Tigger, because they thought up the Mancat Club, M-Cats
Queen Snickers, because she thought up the Single Kitties Love Cafe

Okay, now I think I'll think five thoughts for you ... **thinking** ...

1) I think that if curiosity really killed the cat I’d have been dead meat long ago.
2) I think that if my humans don’t stop stripping wallpaper off the wall, I may have to strip some skin off some bones.
3) I think cats should be tax deductible so all humans would rescue a houseful.
4) I think if humans weren’t such klutzes, they wouldn’t fall over me when I walk under their feet all that time.
5) And most important, I think my cat blogging friends are the best thing that’s ever happened to me!
I think that's it. Now I think I must go do some more Fthriday Fthinking ....

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Thursday 13 Cat Haiku

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?
We're almost equals.
I purr to show I love you.
Want to smell my butt?
So you call this thing
Your 'cat carrier.' I call
These my 'blades of death.'
Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue!
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!
Toy mice, dancing yarn,
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.
My brain: walnut sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams.
My claws aren't that sharp.
Litter box not there.
You must have moved it again.
I'll crap in the sink.
~ from Planet Cat

Warm & Wonderful Wednesday

Rocky here, but shhhh. It's very cold here today, so my mom set up a special place for our geriatricat Callie and we don't want to wake her while she warms her achy old bones ....

But I want to quietly thank all my blogging friends for giving us such a happy day yesterday on my sisterbean Tiffany's birthday and making my family feel as warm inside as Callie. Even though my mom lives in the US and Tiffany lives in Italy, your love brought them together! You gave Tiffany such a wonderful surprise when she was showered with birthday greetings from all over the world ... more birthday wishes than she's ever received on any birthday of her life!

I was eavesdropping when my mom called Tiffany last night at the exact moment she was born, 7:34 pm (1:34 am Rome time!) and all they could talk about was YOU, my wonderful friends!

I worried that it would be a sad day, and there would be flood disasters with my mom's eyes leaking all over the US and Tiffany's leaking all over Rome. Oh, they leaked all right, but it was happy leaks, not sad ones! My mom says she used to feel lonely because Tiffany is so far away and because she's lost so many loved ones in the last few years ... but now that she's been blessed with all of you, our wonderful kitty-loving blogging family, she'll never be lonely again!

Thank you so very, very much!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Happy Birthday, Tiffany!

Today is my beansister Tiffany's birthday!
But Tiffany lives in Italy, and she and my mom are so sad they can't be together today. They couldn't be together for my mom's November birthday, or for Christmas, or for New Year's Eve, and now this :-( Tiffany is an only child and my mom was a single parent since Tiffany was 2 years old. They've always been together ....

They loved woofies together - this is Tiffany with Alfie who came before: They learned things together:
They loved kitties together - here they are with Sadie who came before: They even loved seagulls together:
Mostly they just love being together:
But now it's Tiffany's birthday and they can't be together and they're very sad. So I was thinking ...
If all my blogging friends would send Tiffany birthday wishes, it would help show her how very loved she is, and how much we wish she and our mom could be together today! If she gets birthday wishes from all over the world, Tiffany and our mom could see that the world is not too big for love to bring everyone together!
You can send a wish to Tiffany at sirenadellopera (at) yahoo (dot) com, and you can also leave your wish in our comments. Thank you so much, my wonderful blogging friends!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

FBI Alert: Rocky Impersonator!!

Tigger the FBI Cat, I need your help! A Rocky impersonator is trying to steal my identity and kittynap my mom! Here's hard evidence for your investigation into this catpital crime ... The suspect was last seen pawing my mom, I repeat, MY mom, at 4:23 pm EST at PetSmart, where she was helping the Rescue Farm find furever homes for their kitties. I captured the incident on my spy camera:
Exhibit A:
This perp is a repeat offender! In a second offense, this imposter was caught making curly-toed happy feet on my mom ... I repeat ... MY MOM!!
Exhibit B:
The suspect in the Rocky disguise is a young white male with ginger spots. He is an alleged habitual user of cuteness to lure unsuspecting moms, then he kittynaps them! He is considered to be pawed and dangerous! Tigger, you must set up a stakeout at PetSmart and apprehend this heinous imposter before he steals into my home and cat burglarizes my Temptations and commits mom theft!!

Phew, now that Tigger is on the case, I can relax and report some good news. Remember Yogi, the Rescue Farm kitty we first featured on Saturday Adopt-a-Caturday? Yogi found a wonderful furever home yesterday at PetSmart (while that fake Rocky was pawing MY mom)! Here he is with his loving new beans:
Look, he's so happy he's going home, he has a big smile on his face:But Punkin, this week's featured kitty, didn't find a furever home yesterday. Jodi from the Rescue Farm says it's hard to find homes for polydactyl kitties :-( My mom tried to convince a literature teacher at PetSmart to adopt Punkin -- after all, he is a Hemingway cat -- but she chose another kitty instead. Poor Punkin, this was his first day at PetSmart, and he didn't like it very much:
He just huddled in his cage and smashed his face against the glass (while that phony Rocky held MY mom hostage!) I hope Punkin finds a furever home soon ... and Tigger puts that fraudulent Rocky on the Feline Bureau of Investigation's Most Wanted List and gets him out of circulation ASAP!!!

Be sure to check out all this weekend's catness:

Weekend Cat Blogging
Sat. & Sun. at Chey's Place

Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos
Sun. at House of the Mostly Black Cats

The Carnival of the Cats
Sun. at Life from a Cat's Perspective