Rocky: As Artsy Catsy's CEO (Cat Executive Officer), I am outraged! We’re in a global economic crisis, and I want my share of the stimulus money! I deserve it. I’m not a toxic asset (despite my human artist’s comments when she cleans the litter pan) and I don’t do credit default swaps (well, maybe I give my cat staff a good swap in the face now and then).
I have a housing crisis – my house is overrun with cat staff and crazy human artists. I have a totally unbalanced balance sheet.
Wall Street fat cats and the top cats at AIG, Merrill Lynch etc. have pocketed billions in bonuses; where is MY bonus? Where is MY bailout money? Where is MY stimulus check? Just look at me – it’s glaringly apparent that I need to be stimulated …
Oh, wait. I forgot. Just like AIG, I have to totally bankrupt Artsy Catsy before I get a squillion dollar bonus. Okay, down the tubes, staff, so we can buy a couple of jets, take luxurious cat spa vacations and throw ritzy affairs for the neighborhood strays!
