My fellow citizens, I am distressed to report that intelligence gathered by the CIA (Cat Intelligence Agency) under the CatPatriot Act indicates that catshock and awe has befallen us; the dogs of war are barking in the Cat Blogosphere. The Department of Catland Security has elevated the catterror alert to red, and the conflict is so intense that three of our leading commanders, Zeus, Skeezix and Beau may resign.We cannot allow this war to continue until it degenerates into another VietCat. We must first employ diplomatic efforts to impose no-catgrump zones throughout the Cat Blogosphere. The catterrorists -- and those who aid, train and harbor them -- must unconditionally destroy all WMD's (Words of Mass Destruction) and agree to not develop WMD's in the future.
If diplomatic efforts fail, a coalition of the willing will deploy troops to kick some serious catbutt at a time of my unilateral choosing. The United Cats of the Blogosphere has the sovereign authority to use force in assuring its own serenity. That duty falls to me, your self-appointed Cat-in-Chief.
And make no mistake -- if the use of force is unavoidable, we will not withdraw until the mission is accomplished. I have accumulated a massive stockpile of lethal hairballs and I possess an arsenal of catballistic missiles capable of delivering them. Don't make me drop dirty catbombs on you!
I ask for your support in this mission. We must work together to bring peace and serenity to the Cat Blogosphere, with liberty and catjustice for all. We must post our gratitude and appreciation to each of our esteemed cat commanders Zeus, Skeezix, and Beau and urge them to stay the course! And we must put the "fun" back in dysfunctional and learn to all just cat along.
Together we will swat the flies out of our catsoup for the soul and create a purrrfectly unified and peaceful Blogosphere of the cats, by the cats, and for the cats. And we will accept no outcome but victory!
Thank you, and may God bless the Blogosphere.
