Rocky: As Artsy Catsy's CEO (Cat Executive Officer), I am outraged! We’re in a global economic crisis, and I want my share of the stimulus money! I deserve it. I’m not a toxic asset (despite my human artist’s comments when she cleans the litter pan) and I don’t do credit default swaps (well, maybe I give my cat staff a good swap in the face now and then).
I have a housing crisis – my house is overrun with cat staff and crazy human artists. I have a totally unbalanced balance sheet.
Wall Street fat cats and the top cats at AIG, Merrill Lynch etc. have pocketed billions in bonuses; where is MY bonus? Where is MY bailout money? Where is MY stimulus check? Just look at me – it’s glaringly apparent that I need to be stimulated … Oh, wait. I forgot. Just like AIG, I have to totally bankrupt Artsy Catsy before I get a squillion dollar bonus. Okay, down the tubes, staff, so we can buy a couple of jets, take luxurious cat spa vacations and throw ritzy affairs for the neighborhood strays!
Rocky: I'm taking a break because I've been busy teaching my staff to tweet on Twitter. You can follow our tweets at http://twitter.com/artsycatsy
I'm meeting lots of new friends for us all there. Even one named Mr. Scrubby, who has a blog: http://mrscrubby.blogspot.com/ Go see if you don't think he kinda looks like me!
Rocky: In spite of appearances (or lack of them!) we really are still here ... no thanks to our crazy human artists, whose lives are wearing me out ...
Here are the top five reasons we haven't been around much lately ...
1) Our good friend Terry had an emergency appendectomy so my mom left town to go stay with her while she recovers. And our dear friend Lois, who is undergoing cancer treatment, fell and broke her rib.
2) My mom has tax problems, so she's been spending all her time shuffling through stacks of papers and muttering things that I wouldn't dare repeat here.
3) A hit-and-run driver crashed into our human artist Jenni's car and knocked the whole rear end off it so we've been dealing with the police, the insurance company and the body shop and all kinds of human-running-back-and-forth.
5) And here is the saddest thing: our cousin Keith has been diagnosed with cancer. We're spending lots of time purring and purraying for him, and we hope you'll join us. He's getting massive chemotherapy and if it doesn't put him into remission, his doctor says he'll only have 6-9 months to live. My mom used to babysit Keith when he was a child, and we're so sad and upset that this has happened to him.
Now I'm going to visit all of you in big old hopes that your lives have been going more smoothly than ours! Then I'm going back to bed to purr and purray for a totally uneventful, even boring, life at Artsy Catsy the rest of the year - no more illnesses, accidents, tax problems or anything else upsetting!
Lucy: We're having a quiet day to remember and honor our human artists' mother, Emma Jean, who passed away 8 years ago today. She was my first mom and I miss her more than words can say. She loved to cook, and I stayed in the kitchen by her side all the time, as I still do because I know she's here with me.
She loved kitties, and we all loved her, especially Rocky, who stayed by her side and on her lap all through her breast cancer treatment ...
Rocky: All right, already, since I pride myself on being a CEO who listens to others, I took your (unanimous) advice and went to the v.e.t. yesterday. Here's the good and bad news:
I got wrapped in a towel and put in a Jeep where my mom squished the daylights out of me while I fought and trembled and moaned all the way to the stabby place, where I got probed and poked and something stuck up my behind which was then stabbed with a needle and I was sent home with pink yucky stuff that my human artist has to sit on me to get down my unwilling throat twice a day. I hope you're all happy now!
Dr. Shew said I have a fever and an upper respiratory infection, which is airborne and highly contagious, so I'm still quarantined.
The only good news is every time the pink yucky is squirted down my throat, I get Temptations ... So how about some purrs & prayers that this yucky stuff will start tasting like tuna juice? Blechh!!
Rocky: I need your help! Please tell my human artist that I do NOT need to go to the v.e.t.!! Yes, I'm sneezing and blowing bubbles out my nose and my eyes are watering, but hey, I can do that if I want to! I'm the CEO! Besides, there are excellent benefits to this behavior - she has separated me from my annoying staff and I get to have my human all to myself! With these kinds of perks, I'll be sneezing a lo-o-o-o-ng time!!
Rocky: It's March 1, and what a perfect day for Carnival of the Cats - the first day of the month that brings us the end of winter and the beginning of Spring! It reminds me of an old song, The Circle Game ...
And the seasons they go round and round And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
As we leave winter behind and look forward to the warmth and renewal of Spring, here's what's been going round and round in the cat blogosphere this week ....
Yes, all eyes are watching for Spring, but it's a rare stare that could compete with the powerful eyes of Hakuna at Blog d'Elisson!
Please send your purrs & purrayers to Mind of Mog, who this Friday had to help their their sweet Klarissa to the Rainbow Bridge ...
And Freya’s family could use your support in remembrance of their sadly missed Scampie, who went to the Bridge a year ago this week ...
Don’t miss the video, Jerusalem’s Coolest Kitties at Elms in the Yard, a tribute to all the cats who make their home on the grounds of St. Stephen's Priory (The Ecole Biblique) in Jerusalem.
Look at these innocent bystanders doing absolutely nothing wrong at Elms in the Yard.
Don’t miss the fresh air, sunshine, wet paws and a perfectly “happy ending" :-) at Perfectly Parker!
Beautiful Sanjee stakes her claim to some peace and quiet at House of the (Mostly) Black Cats.
Tristan gets down to a serious therapy session with a Really BAD Dog at Tabbylicious.
CEO Rocky as a young lad with his best pal, Dustbunny, who sadly hopped over the Rainbow Bridge after 10 years.
The staff gets down to business at an Executive Board Meeting.
The staff takes a break after the Executive Board meeting.
Catministrative Assistant Callie performs background checks on all new ArtsyCatsy employees. Young Fracas said, "Go ahead, you'll find my background to be spotless!"
IT Director, Ivan, works on Artsy Catsy's upcoming web site.
Oscar the MaintenanceManx keeps the Artsy Catsy facilities up to snuff.
CEO Rocky relieves his stress with regular visits to his personal masseuse, Debbie.
Spokesmodel Lucy: "Ugly shoes are for wrestling and kicking. Icky!"
Fracas, VP and Company Morale Builder Extraordinaire, revs up the staff.
Oh, wait. I forgot. Just like AIG, I have to totally bankrupt Artsy Catsy before I get a squillion dollar bonus. Okay, down the tubes, staff, so we can buy a couple of jets, take luxurious cat spa vacations and throw ritzy affairs for the neighborhood strays!
So how about some purrs & prayers that this yucky stuff will start tasting like tuna juice? Blechh!!
