Manic Mancat Monday

Rocky (hissyfitting): How did I end up in this crazy place? Well, it all started when after years of climbing toward that corner catoffice, I became the missing rung on the corporate ladder ... I struck out on my own and found a cat’s dream job, where I can set my own hours, earn as much as I like, and work for someone I truly admire.

I became a self-employed feline, the CEO of my own Artsy Catsy empire – yes, one of that elite group of cats who work twenty hours a day in order to avoid working eight hours a day for some othercat.

Oh, the joy I felt when I came to work for me! All a distant memory now. My dream job has become a nightmare for one reason only: I've become my own toxic boss!

Let me tell you how horrible it is for me to work for me. I'm completely unreasonable and can't get along with me no matter what I do. Nothing I do is good enough for me. I even expect me to work nights, weekends and holidays. The overtime I expect me to put in is insane!

Can't I understand that there's just too much for me to do? I expect me to do everything around here, and I don't even begin to pay me what I'm worth. And the way I treat me is absolutely infeline. Every time I don't get something right the first time, is it really necessary for me to hiss and growl and humiliate me in front of myself?

All the awards I receive from me, and the recognition banquets I hold in my honor, don't make up for the fact that I constantly stand over my shoulder as if I don't know how to do my job. Sometimes I'm tempted to scream, "If I didn't think I could be trusted to do this job, then why did I hire me in the first place?"

I reached my breaking point today when I gave myself my performance review and told myself I was spending too much time online at work. Hey, I don't feel like my personal life is any of my business, and I don't spend any more time online than my boss does! I can't take this "Me boss, me slave" attitude any longer.

So I’ve had it!! I'm outta here, and all I have to say to me is I can take this job and shove it because …. I can't fire me – I quit!!!

Staff: Uh, Rocky … you’re talking to yourself again. And missing out on Temptations time.

Rocky: Temptations? Well, this job does have some benefits … okay, back to work everybody!!