Mancat Monday

Hmm ... it's Monday ... should I wake up and get to work? ....

Nope.

Mancat Monday

Rocky: I'm taking today off to rest up after yesterday's Carnival of the Cats ...

Well, that is, after I give Callie her Monday whapping for disturbing my rest ...

Happy Mancat Monday

Fracas: YAY, our mom is back home after leaving us for 30 whole hours to go bet on horses - which is a pretty poor excuse if you ask me. So while she was gone, I yakked all over the clean dishes she left in the dish drainer. So there!

However, her betting technique was admirable - she bet only on horses that had names that included the word "cat" or something similar. It didn't work for the Kentucky Derby, though, because she bet on Tale of Ekati and the stupid horse only came in 4th place. But she did come out a whole $17.20 ahead and stopped on the way home for nip and Temptations, so I'm a happy mancat today!

I welcomed her home yesterday with a grudging finger lick:

But, ahhh, here I am after my nip & Temptations reward for her cruel & unusual punishment in leaving me:

I shared a bit of my reward with Rocky, so he's a happy mancat, too:

Don't Mess with the Mancat Monday!

Knock it off, Callie! You had your turn on mom's lap!

Ahhh, yes, it's good to be the boss ...

Mancat Middle Name Meme Monday

I've been tagged by KC, Missy et al and Mickey for the Middle Name Meme. Here's how it works:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

Unfortunately, my doofus mom started calling me 'Rocky Blocky' and it stuck like glue, so she says I have no choice but to use Blocky as my middle name. So here goes:

B: I'm Big, Bold and the Boss around here. (Staff: He's a Big Baby, follows our mom around like a puppy!)
L: I'm a Loving Leader. (Staff: He's a Lazy Lump who lays on mom's bed all day!)
O: I'm very Outgoing and run up to greet everyone who comes in the door. (Staff: He's an Obstinate Oddball, who sprawls in front of the door so no one can get in or out!)
C: I'm a Calm, Capable, Career Cat. (Staff: He's a Cantankerous old Coot who Carps at us every time we get near him!)
K: I'm Kind and very generous with Kudos. (Staff: Yeah, right. He gives us more Kung Fu than Kudos!)
Y: I'm the strong but silent type, who never Yells. (Staff: He's a big, Yellowbellied Yes Man, who does whatever the humans ask him to do!)

Okay, staff ... right after I tag Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III for the Middle Name Meme, as your Loving Leader .....

........ I'm going to Calmly and Kindly YELL AT YOU TO GET BACK TO WORK!!!

Mancat Massage Monday

Um ... hey there human artist, aren't you forgetting something? It's Mancat Massage Monday and I'm still waiting here on my purr pad with your backscratcher -- I mean, my massager -- with a commanding look in my eyes ... Finally! Ah, yes, chin scritches first ...

... then head scritches ...
... then a facial massage with the rollers ...

Very good. Now I think I can finally relax. I do love my scratcher/massager!
I hope all you mancats are getting your Monday massage, too!

Manx Mancat Monday

Oscar: I'm the Artsy Catsy maintenance Manx. But more importantly, I'm a mancat. So I never close the lid!

Mancat Monday Photoshoot

Rocky: You know, it gets lonely here at the top. All I do is work, work, work ... and I don't even have a girlfriendcat. In the pursuit of a more balanced life, I decided it's time I run an ad in the catpersonals, so I ordered my staff to take a mancatly photo of me for my ad. How about this one? ... The Cat Staff: Hahahahahaha ... giggle giggle ... will you look at that! Hey, Mr. CEO, what are those big pink floppy blobs on your belly? LOLOLOL ... you look more like a MAMA cat than a mancat!!! And what's that black smudge on your front paw ... did Santa bring your coal early this year?

Rocky: Alright already, knock it off! So I'm a man of girth. Who has time for the gym when I have to manage this unruly bunch? Now stifle it, turn off that flash, and move in closer for a head shot. How's this mancatly-but-sensitive look? ...The Cat Staff: *gasping and rolling on the floor* ... Hee heee heeeeee ... snortsnort .... Hoo boy, yeah, it's 'sensitive' to have two sets of cheeks on your front ... Hey, you gonna put your cup size in your personal ad? ... Hahahahahahahahaha .....

Rocky: That's enough!!! I will not tolerate this insubordination! Now take a HEADSHOT, I said, then get back to your catcubicles or I'll cancel all your holidays!!The Cat Staff: *grumbles* ... Big deal, a shot of one eye. Betcha he lies about his age when he places that ad ..... odds anyone?

Manic Mancat Monday

Rocky (hissyfitting): How did I end up in this crazy place? Well, it all started when after years of climbing toward that corner catoffice, I became the missing rung on the corporate ladder ... I struck out on my own and found a cat’s dream job, where I can set my own hours, earn as much as I like, and work for someone I truly admire.

I became a self-employed feline, the CEO of my own Artsy Catsy empire – yes, one of that elite group of cats who work twenty hours a day in order to avoid working eight hours a day for some othercat.

Oh, the joy I felt when I came to work for me! All a distant memory now. My dream job has become a nightmare for one reason only: I've become my own toxic boss!

Let me tell you how horrible it is for me to work for me. I'm completely unreasonable and can't get along with me no matter what I do. Nothing I do is good enough for me. I even expect me to work nights, weekends and holidays. The overtime I expect me to put in is insane!

Can't I understand that there's just too much for me to do? I expect me to do everything around here, and I don't even begin to pay me what I'm worth. And the way I treat me is absolutely infeline. Every time I don't get something right the first time, is it really necessary for me to hiss and growl and humiliate me in front of myself?

All the awards I receive from me, and the recognition banquets I hold in my honor, don't make up for the fact that I constantly stand over my shoulder as if I don't know how to do my job. Sometimes I'm tempted to scream, "If I didn't think I could be trusted to do this job, then why did I hire me in the first place?"

I reached my breaking point today when I gave myself my performance review and told myself I was spending too much time online at work. Hey, I don't feel like my personal life is any of my business, and I don't spend any more time online than my boss does! I can't take this "Me boss, me slave" attitude any longer.

So I’ve had it!! I'm outta here, and all I have to say to me is I can take this job and shove it because …. I can't fire me – I quit!!!

Staff: Uh, Rocky … you’re talking to yourself again. And missing out on Temptations time.

Rocky: Temptations? Well, this job does have some benefits … okay, back to work everybody!!